Strangers In A Bookstore (One Direction Fanfic)

Chapter 6

Jamie's POV:

"So what can I get for ya?" The waitress asked, I felt the urge to tell her to pulled up her shirt, and there are buttons there for an actual reason, and wipe off the crap in her face. She looked like a 5-year old drew on her face, then a rainbow unicorn threw up on her.

After everyone gave their orders, she turned to me and looked me up and down.

"Well hello sweetie. What can I get for you?" Making her voice all husky and 'sexy', even adding a wink on the end.

"Err....bacon burger with pizza and fried chicken, along with an order of baby back ribs and your pizza special. And can you add an extra large coke and chips?"

"Damn, girl with an appetite. That's definitely hot, but what else do you like?"

I was getting a bit freaked out, I mean this is just a bit too much.

"Erm....can you also get everyone a triple whipple sundae for dessert?" Niall added, breaking the awkward eye rape stare she was giving.

"Alright, you're order will be ready in 15." She walked away, walking as if she had a squirrel in her pants.

"Brad, Harry, can I PLEASE sit between you? I refuse to sit in the end. Please!" I begged.

"You sure bout that? Cos it seems like you be GETTIN all dem bitchez." Harry answered.

"Oi! Be nice to the lady." Liam reprimanded, as he lifted me up to placed me between him and Zayn.

"At least Liam is decent." I said then gave Liam a kiss on the cheek and patted his head.

"Woah woah hold the fire truck up, so if we be nice, we get a kiss too?" Louis asked. "Cos if that's the case, then please by all means, take a seat next to the Tommo." He added while shoving everyone to his right, making Ed fall to the floor on his butt.

"Oi! Can you at least make an effort to be subtle?"

"Yeah! Don't hurt the Ginger Jesus' ars- crap she's back with food. Quick! Someone hide me." I said frantically, looking at the approaching she-demon-rapist waitress.

I grabbed Zayn's hand and placed it on my shoulders then grabbed my earphones and pretended we were listening to music. As a final touch I laid my head at the crook of his neck.

"Here's your order." The waitress said nasally, looking at Zayn and I then basically dumped our food on our table and walked away in a huff.

We all started sniggering, of course as 'attractively' as possible, as we saw a little girl accidentally squirted some ketchup onto her shirt.

"I kind of feel sorry for her...." Tristan said "but then again, she was planning to rape you."

"You wouldn't exactly call it rape...."

All the boys looked at me, as if to say "dafuq is wrong with you bro?"

"Cos it ain't rape if you like it."

Now the boys faces just suddenly paled.

"Are...you saying...." Liam whispered.

"That you know...." Brad asked just as quietly.

"You aren't...well.....straight?!" Ed finished, sounding a bit choked at the end.

"OMIGOD!!! Your faces, you looked at me as if I was a professional rapist. Like seriously guys? Are you that gullible?" I laughed "I mean don't worry I'm as straight as I can be, I think you're all hot and ve-

"YOU THINK WE'RE HOT?" All the boys said in unison with smug little grins on their faces.

"Yea yea yea so what, more than a billion other girls..and the occasionally gays, like the glorious Tyler Oakley....say the same things to you guys. While some in a waaay more graphic way."

A/N:

Really sorry it's been ages since I updated, happy holidays to everyone, I've been a bit busy from moving CONTINENTS. Ya know, just a 'tad' bit busy.