Begin Again {Sequel to Sleepless Nights}

Chapter Five

"Anna."
"I'm sorry I've had a long day." I put my head in my hands and shook my head.
"I don't think you and Mark could come back from this."
"Why couldn't we?"
"Because this is over. Mark won."
"You're right. You're right." I said, throwing back a shot of vodka, allowing the liquid to burn my throat.
"You need to slow down." Shane reached for the bottle and I grabbed it before he could.
"Just leave me alone." Shane nodded and patted my shoulder as he walked by, going into the living room and cutting on the tv. I kept refilling the shot glass, eventually I got agitated and started drinking from the bottle.
"I'm going to go to sleep." I slurred, heading towards the stairs.
"Goodnight Anna." Shane said as he changed channels.
"Goodnight Shane."
I fell onto the bed, sighing with relief as I sprawled out in the middle of the bed and closed my eyes.

"Come on baby!" Mark laughed as he held his hand out for me. I grabbed it and started slipping on the ice. I squealed and gripped onto his coat.
"See? I told you we would do something. I know how you miss the snow, this is the closest thing I could find in California." He said holding his hands up, admiring the view of the hockey rink.
"I love it."
"And I love you." I slid on the ice as I tried to kiss Mark, he caught me and snorted. "Are you okay?" I giggled and nodded.

I shot up out of bed, covered in sweat. I groaned and pulled off Shane's flannel off my sweaty back and arms as I caught my breath. I grabbed a tank top from the dresser and threw it on, I sat on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands, softly sobbing.

Mark
"That should be it." Felix dusted his hands off and admired at what we accomplished today.
"He's asleep you two." Marzia poked her head into Jackson's room.
"I called a therapist."
"See? That's the first step to recovery."
"I thought it was admitting you have a problem?"
"That includes calling a therapist."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure man."
"Why are you picking my side?"
He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Because, I know the full story."
"Didn't you tell Anna the full story?"
"No."
"Oh." My shoulders fell. I wanted to tell her what happened, but the chances of her believing me over Bryan? It was unlikely.
"What time is your appointment?"
"9:30."
"Do you want me and Marzia to watch Jackson?"
"If you guys don't mind."
"Of course not dude. I love my nephew." He smiled and patted my back. "Get some sleep."
"Goodnight Felix."
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight!" Marzia whispered.
"Goodnight Marzia."
I laid down in my bed and did my nightly routine, look over at Anna's side, stare at the ceiling, and bury my face into her pillow, falling asleep to the smell of her.
"Surprise!"
"'Mark!" She smacked my arm and giggled. "You know I didn't want anything special for my birthday!"
"You deserve the world on your birthday, but since I can't buy the world, I thought we could have a picnic." She smiled and looked up into the night sky, the moonlight glistening in her green eyes.
"I love you so much."
"I love you too Anna."
"Don't say too."
"Pardon?"
"It just sounds like you're agreeing with me."
"After all this time, do you still doubt my love for you?"
"I can't help it." I pulled her into a tight hug, the smell of her conditioner and perfume stuck to my clothing.
"I love you so much. Happy Birthday baby." I pulled the wrapped box out of the basket and handed it to her. She sat down across from me on the blanket, crossing her legs as she unwrapped the present.
"Mark!" She giggled as she admired the video game.
"That's just the small one. There's another present waiting for you at home." She tackled me on the blanket, wrapping me in a tight hug.

My eyes shot open as my alarm was blaring through my room. I groaned and hit the snooze button, my dream sticking in my mind. I quickly got ready and headed to my car, waving bye to Felix and Marzia as I closed the front door.

"Tell me about the mistress."
"Her name is Gracie."
"Do you think you picked her out of particular because of her name? Anna's middle name being Grace?"
"I've never thought about it."
"Tell me what you remember from that night." She asked, looking over her bifocals and holding her pen to the pad.
"It was the night Anna left me. I wanted to go drink until I couldn't remember my name. I didn't know that Bryan followed me."
"Who is this Bryan you speak of?"
"He's one of Anna's friends."
"The same friend that dated her?"
"Yes ma'am."
She nodded, scribbling my words into the pad.
"Continue."
"I was throwing shots back like they were glasses of water. I remember Gracie stumbling to the bar and slurring to the bartender for another drink. She asked me what I was doing by myself and I told her I had a rough day, she sat beside me and told me I shouldn't be alone after a rough day. She saw the wedding band, she just didn't care, she asked if I wanted to go home with her, and I wanted to say no and tell her I was married but I couldn't. I followed her to a cab and we went to her house."
"And?"
"When we went inside she was all over me."
"Did you give into it?"
"Not at first. I pushed her off of me and she just laughed and continued trying to undress me."
"And after that?"
"She managed to unbutton my shirt and I pushed her and left."
"With your clothes unbuttoned?"
"Yes. That's when Bryan saw me. He saw my messed up hair, me buttoning my shirt, and buckling my belt back."
"Did you ever try to explain this to him?"
"Yes."
"And he didn't believe you?"
"No ma'am."
"How has the separation affected you?"
"I don't eat much anymore, I barely sleep, all I dream about is Anna, I recently stopped the drinking because I have full custody of my son."
"And how do you think that's affected Anna?"
"It broke her heart."
"I would like to prescribe you a few medications and schedule you to come back next week. Same time?"
"That works ma'am."
She smiled and nodded, scribbling down the medication names onto a piece of paper.
"I've prescribed antidepressants, and something to help you sleep. I wish you the best and I'm sure Anna will eventually understand."
"Thank you Mrs. Hamilton."
"See you again Mr. Fischbach."

I swallowed the pills and groaned as they didn't go down correctly, making my throat feel scratchy.
"How'd it go?"
"We talked about that night."
"I've been thinking a lot. Was that waitress the girl?"
"Yeah." I breathed out, tightening my grip on the sink.
"You do realize that just because you said yes to begin with, doesn't change the fact you told her to stop right?"
"What are you saying? That I was sexually harassed?"
"Did you tell her to stop?"
"Yes."
"Did you try to get her off of you?"
"Yes."
"Then there you go."
"I'm going to go film a video."

                              Anna
  "Are you okay?" Shane asked as he walked by me.
"Yeah I'm okay."
"Anna you've been staring at the tv for twenty minutes and it's not even on."
"I just zoned out." He nodded and handed me the remote.
"I'm going to go film a video. I'll be right upstairs if you need me okay?"
"Okay Shane." He gave me a sympathetic smile and walked up the winding staircase. I flipped on the tv and started flipping channels. I settled with a rerun of 'How I Met Your Mother' and walked into the kitchen and started popping popcorn. The microwaved beeped and I poured the popcorn into one of Shane's bowls and stuck a handful of popcorn into my mouth. When I walked back into the living room, the familiar show made my heart shatter.
"In all my life—" I looked to the screen and dropped the bowl, sending glass and popcorn all over the floor.