why was the toilet paper rolling down the hill?
to get to the bottom!
why don't teddy bears don't really eat at their picnics?
they're already stuffed!
why did the balloon go near the needle?
it wanted to be the pop star!
would you like to hear a construction joke?
too bad i'm still working on it!
what was the football coach yelling at the vending machine?
gimme my quarter back!
what days do chickens hate?
FRIdays!
there was a man named shut up and he had a bird called manners. manners flew out the window and when the police came they asked what shut ups name was and he said shut up. the policeman asked again and he said shut up. then the policeman told him "wheres your manners""it flew out the window"
what's a ghost's favourite soup?
scream and tomato!
what's and alien's favourite food?
MARSipan!
which dinosaur knew the most words?
a thesaurus!
why did the rock carve himself into a star?
he wanted to be a rock star!
there were 30 cows 28 chickens. how many didn't?
10.
Mary's dad had 3 daughters poppy and Rosie. who's the other child?
Mary!
its funny how when i'm loud everyone tells me to be quiet but when i'm quiet everyone thinks somethings wrong with me.
my boss told me to have a good day
so i left.
h.o.m.e.w.o.r.k
half of my energy wasted on random knowledge
only a genius can say these four words five times fast without getting tongue twisted.
eye, yam, stew, peed
yeah i am weird.
[w]wonderful
[e]exciting
[i]interesting
[r]real
[d]different
why does Willy Wonka smile when he sleeps?
he's having sweet dreams!
who solved the mystery of the stolen sweets?
Sherbet Holmes!
what does willy wonka use to clean his teeth?
candyFLOSS!
what's furry and minty?
a polo bear!
how do you turn light chocolate into dark chocolate?
turn the light off!
what do you call an underground train full of professors?
a tube of smarties!
when is a door sweet and tasty?
when its jammed!
knock knock
who's there
cows who
no,they don't the moo.
what's a rabbit's favorite music?
hip hop!
what's the fastest way of counting cows?
using a COWculator!
miss honey: Eric why are you doing your maths work on the floor?
Eric: you told me to do it without using tables!
miss honey: make up a sentence using the word lettuce
nigel: LET US out of school early!
miss trunchbull stood in front of the class and said "stand up if you are an idiot"
Hortensia stood up
"hortensia , why do you think your an idiot"
"i don't miss. i just hate seeing you stand there all on your own."
what would you get if you crossed a teacher and a vampire?
lots of blood tests!
why is it better to be a grasshopper than a cricket?
grasshoppers can play cricket but crickets can't play grasshoppers!
who did the zombie marry?
his ghoulfriend!
