Diary of a Broken Heart

Shy One, Loud Soul

I'm standing in the corner, watching people pass by me, Not one noticing me. It's sad to say that I know many names but, as I no one knows mine. All they seem to know is Freak, when it comes to my name, Yeah I don't talk to anyone.

But, does that really make me a Freak. I'm only shy, that's all.

I put all my attention back on all the people passing by but, one in general, the most beautiful person in this hell hole called school. His beautiful face; his plump lips; his chocolate colored eyes; his cinnamon scent; everything about him screams Perfection. I start to question the world

"How can someone be that perfect?"

I stare at him; my eyes filled with so much adoration. I start to imagine my perfect world, a world I could never have but, can only wish for.

I was always told all my life that I wasn't enough, that I will never be loved, worthless, Freak. Why am I not enough!

Is it cause i'm not as pretty as others, I'm not as perfect, Is it cause I think differently.

"Why, Why,Why!" I question myself every god damn day.

Why am I not enough. I look down. Ha! I'm not as different as you take me to be. I'm always quiet on the side lines looking around , the freak. The girl who wears a hoodie , that doesn't even try to fit in.

While on the inside, i'm screaming, no i'm shouting for someone to notice me, to talk to me, for once to actually look at me for who I am, not as a freak.

I'm always telling myself to take off this hoodie and just run into his arms. I always think of ways to approach him. But, I always just sit down and repeat what people tell me.

I'm not enough for him, I can't be loved, I'm worthless; I'm the freak, the one who's quiet but has a screaming soul wanting attention.

To be loved.

*AUTHOR NOTE*

So this is one of my oldest poems, I think I wrote this when I was nine or ten, and I fell upon it when I was looking through my Google Drive so, I decided to post it since I wrote this on one of the hardest time periods I have had in my life, I was literally socially awkward and only had like three friends hahaha so if you think this is trash just remember I was nine or ten when I wrote this. I know my other poetry is trash but this is probably trashier but whatever.