When You Love Someone (on hold)

2

After she got the news, she couldn't help but feel responsible. If she would've stayed home with him, or maybe even took him with her when she left, Messiah wouldn't have minded; he loved Joseph like a little brother. Aaliyah needed to know how her brother died. She grabbed the keys that were laying on the counter and went outside to the car. Messiah was down the street working; he provided all the drugs to the neighborhood they lived in, which is how he could afford his own house and car at only 18. She wasn't worried about him getting back in the house; there was an extra key under the doorbell cover plate.

She headed over to her old home, once she arrived she rested her head on the steering wheel and said a small prayer.

"Lord, please guide me; I need you now more than ever. I ask you to give me patience because you know how I am and if I go in this house and this lady come at me incorrect I'm going to lose my mind." Aaliyah laughed and got out of the car. She walked up to the front door, knocked, then stepped back a little. She waited a few second before knocking again. She thought maybe her mother was passed out on the couch like she always was. She walked through the back gate around to the back door and got the key from under the welcome mat.

When she entered the house, the smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke nearly choked her.

"Tina?" she didn't call her mother mama anymore.

She strolled through the house looking around very carefully at everything. She stepped over one of Josephs toys and picked it up. She hugged it and smiled; it was his favorite toy, he would always leave it on the floor and search for it for hours, forgetting where he last left it, even though it was always on the floor.

"I'm surprised to see you here, you're too good for us now ever since you got that rich boyfriend of yours," her mother said from the living room.

"I didn't come to talk about me, what happened to my brother, don't lie to me." Losing her brother had already changed her, she didn't even feel the same. Usually, she would be respectful towards her mother, even though she deserved less than that.

"I'm so sorry. He told me kids were bothering him at school, but I never did anything about it. He came home every day crying because someone did something to him. I didn't think it would go this far. I didn't think I would lose my son."

"What happened?" Aaliyah shouted.

"Joseph committed suicide, Aaliyah."

"Don't tell me that, no he didn't he couldn't have, you're joking, why the hell would you say something like that? That shit not funny!" Aaliyah started to cry.

"It was one day he came home but ran straight to his room, and I didn't think anything of it. But he was too quiet. I opened his room door, and I didn't see him on his bed. I walked in a little more and saw his reflection in the mirror beside his window. He hung himself from his closet bar."

Aaliyah ran out of the house and took off in her car. Joseph was always happy. She wondered why he wouldn't come to her with his problems. He never had a problem with it before.

"I shouldn't have left him, I left my best friend all alone, and now I don't have him at all. Why did this have to happen to Jo? He was harmless, couldn't hurt anyone even if he tried. I don't understand why such bad things happen to such good people." After she left her mother's house, she put the funeral home into her GPS and headed there to make the funeral arrangements. While driving, she got a FaceTime call from Messiah.

"Hello?"

"Babe where are you?"

"In the car, I have something to tell you, Messiah."

"Yeah go ahead, I'm listening." Messiah propped the phone up on the counter and started to change his clothes.

"Can you look at me please?"

He turned around and bent down in front of the phone.

"Jo died." She never imagined herself saying those words ever.

"What? My nigga died? Who did it, Aaliyah? Just tell me who did it and it's a done deal." He tried to refrain from crying, but he couldn't hold it in.

"Messiah. He committed suicide."

"Come home, now. I don't want you driving Aaliyah."

"I can't; I have too much to do. I have to go to the funeral home, and then I have to go back to Trina's house and get all of his stuff out of his room. It's only so long I can wait to do that; she'll end up selling everything and using the money for drugs. I want my brother's stuff; I can't let her do that. I just can't." She started to cry uncontrollably.

"Baby just calm down its okay, pull over and talk to me. You aren't doing this by yourself; I loved him like he was my little brother too. Hey, I remember that time we took him to get ice cream in the middle of the night. Hmm, you remember that?"

Aaliyah smiled, "Yeah he was so sleepy he fell asleep, and his head fell onto his ice cream cone. Remember when we took him to the park, and he tried to steal one of the ducks? That duck loved him. He ran up to Jo as soon as we got out of the car and followed us around the whole park."

Joseph was the best little brother anyone could ask for. He was like a son to Aaliyah. They were always together; they would do anything for each other. Now he was gone.