Saturday, July 27th 10:10pm
Maybe I shouldn't get used to it after all..
Remember our date from two weeks ago that I didn't mention until.. well, two weeks later? Basically not much (actually nothing) has happened since then. Inseong was either swallowed whole by a whale or just doesn't have any interest towards me anymore. And it took me this long to figure it out and try to get over our dumb date. Hence, why I even decided to pour it all out in words because I was still high on those feelings.. So high that until then, none of what happened afterwards made sense.
Maybe he didn't feel the same way.
I shook these thoughts out of my head because let alone this situation, I just didn't want to go to work for a couple of days.. And definitely didn't want to see, speak, or take orders from anyone. But feeling like shit isn't going to help me pay off anything.
I was in bed, staring at nothing in particular when I felt my phone vibrate beside me. I turned my head to see who was calling and felt a pang in my chest when I saw the name that was flashing across the screen.
'Inseong 🐰 is calling...'
It was as if the devil knew I was thinking about him earlier.. I swear he must have sensed it or something. I let it ring for a while and just when it was about to go to voicemail, I picked up. I stayed silent and heard him let out a deep breath.
"I.. I'm.. I know you're probably mad at me.. But I'm glad you answered." His voice was shaking.. Was he..crying?
He continued mumbling, "I don't really know what to say to make it better.."
He stopped and cleared his throat. His voice now more audible, "things got a bit hectic these two weeks.. I can't explain this over the phone. I know you probably don't want to see me.. Man, I wouldn't want to see me right now."
"If anyone, I really want you beside me right now.." His voice cracked slightly, "God, I'm miserable."
I opened my mouth to speak, but my mind failed to comprehend words. It was as if every word and every letter that have ever existed just disappeared from my mind.
"I know you're hearing this right now and it makes me feel slightly better.. I know you have a lot to say."
No Inseong.. You don't know that right now I was ready to drop everything and run to wherever you are like the fool that I am.
"I will make it up to you. Give me time to heal.." He sighed, "I don't want to bother you right now.. I think I should go rest. You should rest too. Hopefully you forgive me.. Goodnight."
At that moment, I felt my head slightly spin and my hands shake. My face felt numb and I didn't know what to make out of those words.. I just knew I wanted to hold him until he felt better.
And maybe people would call these feelings too fast..
But I guess I truly am a fool for him.
