I really want to

Fire

Pagkatapos namin kumain, we walked around the beach. There's a lot of people here. We're going to a fire dancing party. While we're walking to the area, I saw Thomas na papalapit saamin. Thomas worked as one of the guide in the beach management.

"Good evening Madam!"He greeted me with a big smile.

"Good evening, you forgot my name do you?" I said.

"No, you're madam Tori right? ;)" he said and he winked.

"Yeah, we're going to the fire dance party, you wanna come with us?" I said.

"I'm not sure madam. I'm sorry, madami pa akong trabaho, but here's my number. Just call me." He said.

"Okay?" I said.

Tita Maria interrupted.

"Hurry up bebe girl, we hab to sit on the prant (front) seat. So we can see the show klerli (clearly). She said

"Okay tita, bye Thomas. See ya" I said.

"Bye madam ;)" he said and he winked again.

While we're walking to the area, I was thinking of Thomas till we're on the fire dancing party. He reminds me of my bestfriend in NY. His name is Dean. Dean is always there for me, Dean is like my brother. He's always there for me to protect me no matter what. Dean and I are friends since we were little. I've had a little crush on him since we were on grade school. I remember when Dean and I are walking while we were holding each other's hand. Nagpunta kami sa isang park near to our house. There's a big old tree in that park. We were always playing there after school. It was my 6th birthday that time. We sat on the lawns, and he gave me a pink little box with a blue ribbon. I was so happy that time, madami akong natanggap na gifts pero mas masaya ako sa binigay ni Dean. I opened the little box, Dean gave me a friendship bracelet, with his name. But its too big for my hands. Gumawa din sya ng bracelet for him na kamuka ng bracelet na binigay nya saakin, with my name and its also big for his hands and I wondered why.

Dean's POV:

"Let's burry our bracelets next to this big old tree" he said.

"But why? You just gave it to me so I have to wear it?" I asked

"Yes, i just gave it to you. And look. It's too big for our hands." He said

"Yes, why is that?" I asked

"That's why we're going to burry those bracelets next to this big old tree and we're going to dig it after your 18th birthday." He said

"My 18th birthday? That's a long time to wait!" I said.

"Because after your 18th birthday. I'll propose to you and after that I'll be your husband so I'm always there for you to protect you from the bullies and make you feel always happy." He said

"Okay? So let's burry them" i said.

We burry our friendship bracelet next to the big old tree and he made a promise. He said he'll never leave me because he'll be my husband and he'll protect me from anything and anyone just like my brother. Our friendship lasts till we're in highschool.

But that all changed. Everything's changed.
Dean got into a plane crash. Nagpunta sila ng family nila sa Africa for a charity. They were there to help, to provide. When they were going back to New york, the pilot lost his control to the plane. All the passengers died, and Dean is one of them. I lost my bestfriend. I lost him.

I was very very very sad when I heard what happened to him. I cried a lot. He was my bestfriend since we were little. I didn't expect that because of a plane crash, our strong friendship will just end like that. Losing someone or something you love or care deeply about is very painful. I don't know how to cope with the pain. But with the support and love of my family, I just accept what happened to Dean. Time really heals, but that doesn't mean I forgot about Dean. I got stressed, I got depressed, i got into stress eating. That's why I'm fat. I can't control myself. But with the help of the people I can lean on and who care about me. I learned to be myself Again. I know Dean is always there for me though he's gone. But he's not gone for me, he's always here in my mind and in my heart. I'm very thankful that my brother is always there for me to remind me that I am a tough woman. That I can stand up for myself like what Dean is always telling me.

~
"Biktorya! Anak, huy bakit umiiyak ka?! Hindi naman nakakaiyak ang mga ferpormans ah?!" Tita Maria said.

"Oh, I'm sorry tita. I just remembered something." I said.

"Are you okay anak?" Tita Alice said.

"Yes tita, let's just enjoy the show." I said

After the show, bumalik na kami sa rooms namin. I took a shower, i wear a pink dress, cleanse my face, put on moisturizer and I lay on my bed.

It's 3am in the morning, I still can't sleep. I'm thinking of Dean nanaman. Iniisip ko kung nandun pa kaya yung friendship bracelets namin. Kukuhanin ko na lang yon when I'm 18. Because yoon ang sinabi ni Dean.

After 1 hr of thinking of him. Nakaramdam na ako ng antok. It's 4am in the morning. I sleep.