Silly.

7. These words were never easier for me to say or her to second guess.

Aiden.

"You stupid, moronic little whore!" Nichola was hitting me repeatedly with every word, as I furiously backpedalled in an effort to get away from her. 

"Ow, ouch, fuck!" I said, attempting to bat her hands away. Nic was taller and definitely stronger than I was, but it never really hurt to try.

I fell onto the couch, scrambling away from my furious best friend, but she just sat next to me, taking a few deep breaths before turning and speaking again. "You are such an idiot, Aiden Marx. You really are." 

"What the hell are you even talking about? What are you doing here?" 

Nic shrugged, putting an arm around my shoulders. Fucking bipolar bitch.

"A certain heartbroken boy may or may not have called me last night at like three in the morning after he stayed up all night crying. Which, by the way, took me forever to get him to own up to. He kept trying to be like 'No what are you talking about I've never cried in my life' and the whole time he was just sitting there on the phone, sniffling. As if I couldn't see right through that." Nic rolled her eyes.

I chose to remain silent. I'd stayed up all night too... much in the same position. Mixed with lots of self-hatred. Of course she had to come over here and tell me how much pain he was in. As if I hadn't been imaginging it all night, beating myself up over it, wondering how I could fix it, wondering if I should fix it.

Nichola was looking at me, her rage clouding over in sympathy as she really looked at me for the first time that day. I supposed I did look a bit pathetic. A long sleeved thermal with tear stained sleeves and a really old pair of sweatpants were the only things I wore, and I hadn't even bothered to brush my hair that day before I broke out the fudge.

"Oh, sweetie," Nic whispered, pulling me into a hug. That was Nichola; she couldn't really be mad at anyone for very long. Her fingers stroked my hair as she let me cry, soaking her shirt with tears.

"I did a really bad thing, Nic. A really bad thing."

She pulled away too fast for me, forcing me to wince as my head pounded with vertigo. "What's wrong?"

I winced again, moving away from her and pulling my knees up to my chest. "Nothing," I told her, but she let her fingers press into my ribs and I jumped, moving away.

"Colton?"

I nodded, and that was all she needed. There was one person that Nic could stay mad at.

"That stupid fucking asshole. Why do you let this happen, Aiden?"

I didn't answer. I couldn't answer. I didn't know how to explain to an only child what it was like to have a brother. My older brother had been my hero for years; growing up, everyone could have told you how much I adored him. How I would've done anything for his appreciation.

"He's my brother, Nic. My brother. I love him."

Nichola was seething, pacing back and forth in my living room. "You love him?! How can you love him, Aiden. I know he's your brother but after what he's done, after what he's still doing to you, you still love him?"

And that was why Nic would never understand. My love for my family was unconditional, no matter how much she tried to make me think otherwise. "He loves me too," I whispered, "He just shows it in a different way."

Nichola knelt in front of me, taking my hands in hers and forcing me to meet her eyes with mine. "That isn't love, Aiden," she said, letting her thumbs rub the back of my hands soothingly. "Is that why you left?"

I didn't have to ask what she meant; James was always in my thoughts. "I don't deserve him, Nic," I told her, tears threatening to spill over, "He wouldn't want me if he knew. No one would."

Nichola pulled me to my feet, shaking me by the shoulders. "You have to stop thinking that! I've seen you give up on so much, Aiden. I've seen you wasting away because of what your own brother does. It's not fair. Just for once can't you be happy?"

I thought about that. Did I deserve to be happy? I didn't think so. But Nic obviously did, and I wasn't really the best judge of character. Especially my own. 

"I have to go."

_________________________________________________________________________

"Oh, Aiden! I'm so glad you're here," Molly said, opening the door wider and letting me in. I hadn't bothered to change my clothes, simply pulling my hair back into a ponytail before walking over to the Cavellier home. James had a beautiful mother, one of the most beautiful women I'd ever met. She had his straight, dark hair, and it fell down to her waist most of the time. Today it was pulled back into a bun, whisps of it falling down to frame her face and icy blue eyes. He'd gotten his eyes from his dad, but the beauty was all his mother.

"Thank goodness you came over, I was just about to call you," Molly rambled as she walked back towards the kitchen. "I've been trying to get Jamie out of his room all day, but he just wont come out! I'm worried about him. Do you think you could go up and check on him, dear?" I nodded, not even trying to talk so that I couldn't give her the chance to hear my voice crack. I was so anxious I could taste it.

The Cavelliers had a steep staircase, but I ran up it, not even bothering to hide how much I wanted to get up the stairs. The closer I got to his room the more my heart pounded, my breathing quickening. I wanted to see him so badly; I couldn't help it anymore.

James had a very interesting door. He and I had painted it, then I'd come over while he was gone and written silly messages on every inch of the door, signing my name with flourish at the bottom. The sight of it made me want to cry. 

"Um, Jamie?" I called out, knocking on the door twice.

"I'm not coming out, Mom. I told you." 

I couldn't help but smile, shaking my head. He thought I was his mom? Was my voice that old? "It's not your mom, idiot," I said through the door, letting my palm rest on the sharpie-covered wood. 

The door opened faster than I would have thought possible, and the air left my lungs, any words I had dying in my throat. For some reason, after not seeing him all night and most of the day, he was even more beautiful than usual. He was wearing sweats too, but his were black, not dark grey. They were low on his hips, showing just a glimpse of his hip bones. James' chest was bare, his tan skin reflecting the hallway lights nicely. His hair was utterly disasterous and falling into his face, and his face was a mix of surprise and longing so deep that I almost broke down.

"Are you real?" he asked, his voice hoarse from what I assumed would be crying. 

"No, I'm a narwhal," I replied, rolling my eyes in spite of myself as he pulled me inside, closing the door behind me and pulling me into a crushing hug. I doubted that I would've responded to anyone else hugging me considering how much it was hurting me, but I hardly felt it when I hugged him back. We needed this. We needed each other.

"I'm sorry, A," he whispered, pulling away and letting his hands cup my face, "I didn't mean to--"

I cut him off, stretching up as tall as I could go and using the hand that was still on the back of his neck to pull him into a kiss. I didn't think at all before I did it; I just couldn't help myself in that moment. He looked so vulnerable and sweet, and I didn't want anything more than to kiss him.

Just as I felt awkward and knew he wouldn't kiss back, Jamie made a small sound in the back of his throat, gathering me up in his arms. His kiss was sweet and honest and perfect, his lips closing over my lower one for just a moment before pulling away. 

"I love you, Aiden."

I didn't even have to think about it. "I love you, too."

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So what do you guys think is up with Colton? Tell me your ideas, haha. All is explained in this next chapter. I dedicate this chapter to Katelyn, because without her loving this story so much I never would've updated. Anyway, there you go!