8. I'm no Superman, I hope you like me as I am.

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Gonna start putting author's notes at the beginning???

Okay, so. This chapter would not be here without my girlfriend, and I probably would have deleted this right now due to self-hatred as far as my writing goes if it wasn't for her. Therefore, as always, I dedicate this to Kate. :3

Um, this chapter has pretty vivid testimony of abuse. If you can't handle that sort of thing, skip down to after the first page break (a solid line running across the page). Thanks for reading!

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James POV.

Aiden and I were sprawled out on my bed for the rest of the day, just laying around and cuddling. Mom called for dinner, but we said no; I don't think either of us wanted to break out of this bubble of being in love that we'd created since the moment we'd spoken the words.

I felt her lips press against my skin for the thousandth time that day, making my muscles tighten automatically.and my breath escape in a sigh. It was like a dream, a dream of her lips, her skin, her voice saying I love you as she kissed me over and over again. 

"Jamie?" 

Her voice was quiet. After all, the room was silent besides our breathing. The hand I'd been running through her hair froze for a moment, then started up again, running my fingers through her long, soft hair as I spoke, "Hmm?"

"I think I can tell you, now." Aiden sat up, and I scrambled into a sitting position, facing her and holding her hand in mine. "Tell me what, A?"

"Why I'm afraid," she whispered, much softer than before, looking down and covering her beautiful eyes with their long lashes. 

"Don't hide, A. You can tell me anything." I let my fingertips brush the skin of her face, tilting it up so that her eyes would meet mine. There was fear, there, a horror so wide and so deep that I wasn't sure telling me would really make it go away. But I would listen anyways. I needed to hear it, I think.

"I'm not the best candidate to fall in love with," she said, her voice breaking just once. "I'm not the best candidate for... anything, really. There are things you don't know. Things I was afraid to tell you. I didn't want you to run away; I've loved you for so long."

I wanted to do something crazy every time I heard her say that; it brought a smile to my face. She smiled too, for a moment, letting her fingers brush my bottom lip before falling to the bed. Her face grew long again.

"I suppose I should start with Colton. He's really where this all began. The summer before ninth grade he and I were hanging out. I loved him so much; looked up to him. I wanted to be him sometimes. He was starting his Junior year, and I asked him what I could do to be really cool in high school.

"He told me to stand up, and then he just studied me for a while. He looked at me from every possible angle before he took me upstairs and into his room. To help me, he said. 

"That day was the first day I ever saw anything but good in my brother.

"He laid down on the bed, still looking at me. He asked me to take off my shirt and shorts. Let's see what we can do with you as far as looks goes, he'd said. Afterwards I just stood there in nothing but my underwear, and he just stared at me. I was scared, but I fought it off. This is Colton, I told myself. Colton wouldn't hurt you."

My hands had clenched into fists. I was shaking with the effort not to hit something. I could see, see it in her eyes and body language where this story was going. I really hoped Colton had medical insurance for when I was done with him.

"After all that time of looking he got up, walking around me like I was a museum exhibit. I was shaking by then. God, I remember it so fucking clearly. The days that happened after, every single day it happened have just been a blur, but the first. The first stuck in my mind like glue. 

"Colton kneeled in front of me, grabbing my waist. I didn't know what to do. I was scared, but he was so much bigger than me, Jame. He touched my stomach. Told me how he liked that I wasn't stick thin like all the others. The other girls he dated. He liked my curves, he said. I wasn't breakable.

"Then he hit me. Later I found out that he'd bruised my ribs, but then all I knew was pain, and a lot of it. Colton picked me up, throwing me down on the bed, face down like an animal." Aiden's voice was passionate, almost fevrish in it's need to continue. I was suddenly afraid, even though I could see what happened next.

"He stripped me bare, and by that time I was crying. Our parents were in Bermudaa; you know how they are. You were still on that vacation in Hawaii, do you remember that? I missed you every day." I wanted to lash out. I hated that I hadn't been there for her. I hated it more than anything.

"I lay there naked while he undressed himself, shutting the windows and drawing the curtains. Just in case, he told me. 

"Now, be a good little sister, he said. 'This is love,' he told me. 'This is how I tell you I love you.' He raped me, violently unil I wanted to puke, and every time he sunk his dick into my flesh he said I love you. When he was done, he dropped me in the shower like a rag doll, leaving me to wash the blood from my skin.

"For the longest time I thought that's what love was, Jamie. I hated myself and you. I hated me for loving you and you for being so... easy to fall in love with. You were everything I needed and everything I knew I didn't deserve. I wanted you so badly all those years, I could taste the need on my tongue when I spoke your name. I felt that need and scorned it. Your mom and dad, they love you, they really do. I was so jealous of you for that when we met. 

"The only love I've ever known came from parents who couldn't be in the same room with me or my brother for more than five minutes, and a brother who as a result of that thought that the only way to recieve the familial love he craved was to force himself on the only family he had left. 

"I'm scared, Jamie. I'm scared that all love is is what I've had. I don't want that. I want love to be beautiful. Please, just make love beautiful."

And with that she broke down, sobs wracking her tiny shoulders. And I held her, I held her in my arms and let her worry wash away into my skin.

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When Aiden finally calmed down, I spoke to her. Well, said more than "shh" and "it's okay" and "I love you." 

"A," I began, cupping her face in my hands, "Do you know why I love you?"

She shook her head. No, of course not.

"I love you for so many reasons. But the first thing that made me realize I was so in love with you was your bravery. It was summer between freshman and sophmore year and I was just sitting there, you and I sitting on your rooftop looking out over the world. We weren't talking, but we didn't need to. You and I never really needed words.

"You stood up all of the sudden, and I called your name. 'Aiden, what are you doing?' I asked. You laughed, spinning around in circles. I'd never been so scared in my life. I thought you would fall and die or something. I thought you would slip. But you didn't, and then you held out your hand to me. 'Come on, Jamie, are you afraid of a little excitement?'

"I was so shocked that you not only wanted to dance on the rooftop, but that it was me you were offering to dance with. You surprised me into saying yes. And we danced around up there until nightfall, laughing and talking. You made me not want to be afraid anymore. 

"That night I just knew. I knew that I loved you. And as we grew up I fell in love with you over and over again. Aiden, I love you. Colton doesn't, your parents don't, but I do. Even if the entire world was populated with perfect models with perfect personalities, I would want you. I love the way you walk a little pidgeon toed, and the way your smile lights up your whole face. Your eyes are the most beautiful color I've ever seen. I love the way you laugh, really laugh, not just pretend to find something funny. I love you when you're sarcastic and when you're sweet.

"I love you, Aiden. Just you. And I will want you every day for the rest of forever. So forget about your brother and everyone else, because I'm not gonna let anything hurt you anymore."

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