Revived [on hold]

4

5 days before

I had packed the last items into my bag, said my last goodbyes, had my last hugs with my family and my last visit to my father's memorial.

Sat daydreaming in the back of my mum's car, blaring my favourite song through my earphones, I smiled and was more than ready for university life. The journey seemed like forever, hours after hours, motorway after motorway, traffic jam after traffic jam.

I was born in Hammersmith, and lived there for 14 years with my mum, my sister and my dad. Until my dad died. My mum couldn't cope with it, day after day she was asked by so many different people- most of which she had no clue who they were- what had happened. Because London was so busy, and almost everybody knew everybody, the news spread quickly and my mum began to crumble, leading to whole load of responsibility for me, seeing as my sister was just 9 at the time.

Everyday I found myself telling my mum it'd be okay and that things would get better. Which they did, eventually, my mum decided that it would be for the best if we moved as a family up north to Manchester, away from everyone that knew about my dad's death and away from the people that reminded us everyday of the devastation we felt as the hospital phoned to say my dad had suffered multiple organ failure due to an intentional overdose.

So for these past 4 years I've lived in Manchester, but have always told myself that I'd come back to London as soon as I was old enough to make my own decisions and as soon as my mum was stable enough to cope with my father's suicide on her own.

So the journey was long, too long, 4 hours too long. Thankfully, I had my earphones with me, otherwise only god knows how I'd have survived.
"You nervous?" My mum smiles at me through the rear view mirror. I'm crammed in the back because some of my belongings are in the front of the car.
I nod, "Kinda."

As we arrive, I gasp as the building seems bigger than when I first saw it, everything seemed so much more surreal. 'I'm spending the next few years of my life here,' I thought in amazement.

Eventually, after what seemed like hours of talking with so many different people in an attempt to find my room, we made it to find Lillie, my best friend, already inside and unpacking.

"Hey!" She grinned like a little kid in a toy shop as she gave me a hug and rushed me inside. My mum stood in the doorway as Lillie turned to her and gave her an equally tight hug in greeting. "Would you like a coffee?" Lillie gestured to a coffee machine she had set up on her desk.

"No thank you Lillie, I must get on my way, long journey ahead," my mum rolled her eyes before giving me one last hug, "I'll miss you, call me at least once a week okay? Stay safe, don't get into trouble, love you."

I smiled weakly as a single tear rolled down my pale, freckled cheek, "I love you too."