The Anatomy of Killer

Chapter 9 - That Awkward Moment When You Forget That There's a Search Function

     Gabriel turned to me, a placid expression on his face. "How are  you, Anita? Really."

     "You check on me at least once a week. I've told you the same thing each time. I'm doing well," I replied, confused by his question.

      "I mean emotionally. I'm aware that you're doing well with your tasks. You're staying with the man that shot you. I know that can't be easy for you. Your ability to hold a grudge is...impressive," Gabriel said, exasperated. 

     I took a deep breath. "It's not the most desired situation, yes. But Noah isn't a bad person. He regretted killing me, I know it. I am struggling to believe that us being brought back together was an accident," I said, pulling my blanket back around my shoulders. 

      Gabriel sighed. "It wasn't."

     "What do you mean?" I asked, panic in my voice. 

     "You two were brought back together as a test. We need you to not only pass our tests but for you to be shaped into the person that I know you are, deep down," Gabriel said. "There's a good person in there - " he placed a hand on my chest. " - she just needs to be let out."

     "What the hell does bringing back the man that I hate most have to do with anything?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

     "I - we - needed you to be able to forgive him," Gabriel explained. "It's the first step to becoming a better person."

     I shook my head, smiling viciously. "People don't change, Gabe."

     "They do. You're living proof of that, Anita. You're already a better person," Gabriel said.

     "I'm a serial killer. That's what they told me that I was. I'm never going to be anything else. If I came back and told them who I was and that I'd changed, they'd still lock me up. Maybe people do change, but it's not going to fix anything!" I said, my temper rising with my voice.

     "This is a second chance, Anita. If you're not going to change, then I'm going to send you straight Downstairs."

     I stood up, spreading my arms. "Go ahead! Obviously you put too much faith in me."

     "I'm not going to do that, Anita," Gabriel said softly. "I know that you can still change. You don't have enough faith in yourself."

     "No, I don't! I'm a horrible human being! I've killed people, ripped families apart, and I never felt a single ounce of regret for what I'd done. What kind of person does that? What's wrong with me, Gabe? What's wrong with me?" I sobbed, sinking to me knees on the floor. 

     He knelt down beside me, gently wiping the tears from my face. "You see? You're no so terrible. You've always felt that regret, dear. You just covered it."

     "Please leave," I whispered through the tears. "Just go."

      I felt his presence move from my side. The door slammed shut without me even looking up. I don't know how long it was before Noah came back into the apartment carrying a bag from the nearest drug store.

     When his eyes landed on me, sitting there on the floor with tears leaking from my eyes, he rushed towards me. "Evelyn? Are you okay?"

      "What does it look like?" I snapped weakly.

     "Sorry. Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

     "Not really," I said miserably.

     "Well, I won't pry. Where'd your friend go?" Noah questioned, standing up and beginning to put the things that he picked up at the store away.