"DADDY!!!11!!"
How'd we end up here in dis cool as Cool Cat story? Let's find tf out holy shit...
Paint Weenie Hut Jr.'s (Pete Wentz for short) was listening to American Beauty (which flopped btw) while binge eating ice cream. "WHY DOES EVERY1 HAET EEM MUSIC!!?!" he screamed. Patrick Star (Stump for short) axed the door to Pete's childhood bedroom door, shouting "BC PEEPUL DONT UNDERSTAND X^("
"YA IK ROOOIIGHHT!?!" Pete laughed at his pot belly, which was blocking the view of Patrick. "I heard a real loud sound is everything a-ok?!?" Pete didn't see the axe marks on his door. Patrick started sweating, trying to hide the axe as best he could buT FAILED MISERABLY. "Uhhhh, nope lol."
"W8, m8... Why u here anyway?"
"I got kicked out of my apartment for crying too loudly when I masturbated last Tuesday..." Patrick blushed. "Oh my gosh that happened to me too last month!!!! We should continue this awesome XD conversation at Popeye's." Pete grabbed his keys, throwing out his iPod that only had American Beauty on it.
"Popeye's is for Cory from Cory in the House, not PatriCK FUCKING STUMP AND PETE FUCKING WENTZ... but whatever maybe we can see a clown there and take a funny relatable Snapchat pic :) Let's get tf outta here." Pete followed Patrick out the door, being too dumb to notice the axe marks on his door.
They both crashed their 2007 model Smart car into a telephone pole except it was right outside of Popeye's so I guess it was okay.
When they both opened the doors, there was a surprise waiting for them!!1! Everyone in the fucking Popeye's was dead lmao. All the people were having a seizure to an unknown force coming from somewhere. But what could that be!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!?? Of course it was the radio above playing Ghostbusters (I'm Not Afraid). Shit was on the floor and the chairs because of people losing control of their ASS FUNCTIONS.
"Oh my God, Pete."
"Wut, Patty?"
"We really sold out."
"Yea ik lmfaooooo."
The poolice showed up like a millisecond afterwards. Breaking down the front door, a police officer yelled, "GET DOWN ON THE GROUND AND DONT TELL ME ITS COVERED IN SHIT OKAY?"
Pete responded with a sly smile, "But officer! The black people are over there!!1!11!!" While Pete was pointing at the dead customers, Patrick laughed. "LMFAOOOOOOOOO GOOD ONE XD"
The officer shot Petey in the kneecap for being so sassy.
"TF MAN IM TRIGGERED NOW :(((((((((((" He fainted.
Chap 2 com soon??? Confirmed (REAL!)
YOU ARE READING
Cracking the Case of Emo (it's crack you fucking moron)
FanfictionIt's a parody because crack is cancer