Chap 5

4 0 0

by thisaccountbedead

by thisaccountbedead

LAst time on anime!!

Patrick is fucking PISSED and Pete got a new bf ono :0 ok go

Patrick's pov:

I looked everywhere for Peet, my only fren. Nowhere to be found in any dumpster, gay strip club or tattoo store. The whole entire time I was just like, "Come the fuck ON... If Pete fucking Wentz was somewhere, it'd totally be those three gay ass places."

After getting my dick sucked at one of the gay clubs and leaving my partner in crime, Random Ass Car Guy, behind, I had a sudden realization. What if he was on the news?

I sat down at a coffee shop and waited for all the Donald Trump meme stories to be finished on the TV. It turned out that mah sweet fren Wentz was last seen in front of—"I FUCKING KNEW IT WAS A DUMPSTER!!!4!" In front of a dumpster behind a Subway located in Mexico. There are Subways in Mexico? Fuckin witchcraft.

I went there and turns out I ended up inside the motel next to it. The clerk was being a lil bitch and told me he didn't see Paet, but God dammit, I knew he was there somewhere.

I got out my crobar again and did whatever to that BITCH. I looked in every room.

There was Walter White masturbating on top of Jesse Pinkman in one.

Another contained Frank Iero crying miserably without his precious Gerard Way.

Another had—wait wtf another emo was here?????

"Holy FRICK Frank wutcha doin haer in this Meheecan air???? Lol sorry..."

"Oh nothing just regretting my life decisions, but I think MCR's done with Gerard forming a God damn TERRORIST group... I mean, it was fun while it lasted I guess."

This was a serious moment, but I just HAD to ask if he was on cocaine when he said that.

He didn't let me come back after that.

I lol'ed and kept walking down the one hallway. I heard this bed shaking up and down and knew EXACTLY what was happening...

Storming the door, I ear raped, "CAN I JOIN THIS PILLOW FIGHT TOO??!!!??"

What I saw was just. too. much..

It was Pete-kun and this gAy cop fucking each other!!!!! And it was really hard like DAYUM GAY COP STOP PUSHING MY PETEY SO HARD.

I was v jealous >:(( and slapped that man's ass while screaming, "I HAVENT DONE HIM IN 5 WHOLE DAYS... GET OFF BITCH."

He took off his gay cop sunglasses and was like, "nu."

I threw him out the WINDOW. I was super duper fuckin pissed like nObody messes wif mah Peet.

I looked back at his dick and made the :3 face of approval. It turned out that his erection had already disappeared. I made the :0 face after that 😱.

"Sorry Patrick, my heart belongs to Gay Cop now."

"But D00D... I WAS GONNA ASK TO MARRY YOU IN LIKE TWO DAYS WTH?????"

"Well ya shoulda thoughta that before ya came, mistuh." Oh no, he was getting a gay lisp.

"Nonononon, this is unaccEptable bby like come on do I have to get a divorce????"

"Patrick you're so dumb like we're not married dumb fucking four eyes now if you'll excuse me I'll be taking my REAL WIFE to the hospital now... Bitches."

Then he just walked away. Out the frickin hole in the wall.

I cried for like three hours while shoving ice cubes up my anus to try and gain pleasure but nothing was working. I just decided to watch HBO bullshit for that day because it was a hotel.

I knew I had to win Pete back, but how???

I gasped in realization. That's it! I can just get one of Gerard's Isis members to kill Gay Cop!!11!! Then Pete would have NO ONE ELSE HEHEHE >:)

It would be gr8. The perfect plan.