SIMONS POV
The names they called me , i couldn't believe some of my closet friends would do that.
I notice JJ and lily just stand at the back , they didn't help me .
But I'm not surprised, they probably wouldn't be able to get them of me or end up getting hurt .
I didn't want anyone to get hurt , I thought the best thing for me to do is to tell them , and it would a lot off weight of my shoulders. But I was obviously wrong now everyone hates me and I don't blame them , what I done was wrong and I wonder , would they care if I was gone , you see I don't even know why I'm still trying , but then I do , I can't leave the sidemen like that , even if they hate me , I can't leave the fans like that , and I can't leave my best mate JJ like that .
I always try and do my best but I can't help but break now and cry , when I see them giving me dirty looks or hearing them talking about me and laughing at me , I can't even bare to look at my best mates in the eyes ,
JJ was the only one who knew about what happened and what I had and I wished it stayed that way . I was so stupid thinking people would actually care for me , no one cared for me in high school not even the teachers tried to stop my bullies , the doctors hardly helped my my anorexia and Bdd , I'm just a depressed broken person who don't deserve to live on this planet , to roam the streets .
Poppy is right .
I should swap places with mum and dad . I should be dead not them .
There in heaven in a better place .
But if I was to die I would go to hell and rot , just like poppy keeps telling me to do . Maybe I should just go .....
