Elyn collapsed on the bed and let herself finally feel again. She had kept her mind firmly locked shut while Gavin was in the room, but the surge of emotion was too much to keep in after the door clicked closed.
A wave of anger and sadness washed through her as she lay on the bed. After some time, she choked back her tears and sat up again. She stared out over the balcony and frowned.
"What's wrong with me? I never would have cried about a boy a month ago," she said quietly. She fished her necklace out of her blouse and rubbed it between her fingers. The ritual gave her some relief.
She knew he had to leave. His decision to see the King wasn't to punish her, but his duty. It wasn't fair to Gavin or to her to feel that way, but she couldn't help it. She fumed and climbed off the bed to lock the door. She didn't want to risk anyone seeing her so weak.
It was bad enough that she had heard Alec talking to some lads about respecting her, even if she was raised outside the walls of a castle. If they saw her weakened by the duty of their Laird, she'd never live it down. She closed the doors leading to the balcony. The room was sealed up, and already growing stuffy from the heart of the fire.
After staring at the flickering flame for a while, she moved to sit at the same desk that Gavin had penned at earlier. She hadn't spent a lot of time practicing reading, but Gavin had encouraged her since she had access to the entire collection of works that were housed in Eilean Donan. She pulled one down and spread it open to a middle page. Almost instinctively, she placed her finger on the page and traced the words as she silently rehearsed their meaning and pronunciation. The book talked about the history of some of the castles and clans in Scotland. She recognized Castle Iverlochy, Strome, and Eilean Donan. She came across a new one, too. Kinfauns Castle. For the last two hundred years, it had been occupied by the Maxwell Clan. Just seeing the name made her shudder.
How had Gavin been so careless? She tried to imagine his thought process, but couldn't wrap her head around it. Maybe he was too swept up with excitement — having just won the battle outside Eilean Donan. Elyn relented. She had been excited too, she hadn't thought of Laird Maxwell either.
Hours passed and Elyn felt a bit better. With a slight buzz of exhaustion gripping her, she closed the book and placed it back on the shelf. The sun was low in the sky, and a milky orange light washed over the chamber. The coloring of the glass gave it a strange tint. Elyn's stomach grumbled a bit and she thought of sneaking down to the hall to grab something to eat.
She pushed herself away from the desk and looked to the door. No. That wouldn't do. She didn't want to deal with anyone, even if it meant giving up food for a night.
Elyn slipped under the covers and curled up. She felt foolish for not fighting harder to join Gavin out on the highlands, but after the skirmish with the Maxwell men, Gavin had been unenthusiastic to take her out to practice any of her fighting skills. She knew she wasn't the greatest warrior, but she was likely stronger than a lot of the whelps that he brought with him on hunting expeditions.
Night would come soon enough, and maybe she could sneak out of the castle then and go back to her parents' old cottage. Something familiar and comfortable. She hadn't seen it since the raid on the castle, after all. The cool air of the highlands might do her some good.
***
Elyn stirred with surprise. She didn't remember falling asleep, but the black sky outside the balcony windows was enough to convince her. Her heart raced with worry. Something didn't feel right. A grave feeling of unease was stuck in her chest like an uninvited guest.
She threw the sheets off herself and leapt from the bed. It was time to get some fresh air. She dressed warmly, admiring the furs as she latched and tightened the sinew against her body. She was surprised: she had put on some weight since arriving at Eilean Donan, but it was welcome weight. She was used to feeling her body being a bit thinner and more frail.
YOU ARE READING
Highlander's Kiss
RomanceHighlander's Kiss (Misty Highlands #2) A dark fog settles on the Highlands... With Scotland still reeling from the reveal of the Maxwell conspiracy, Gavin MacKenzie and Elyn MacDonald are finally ready to satisfy their racing hearts and wed. But, wh...