illuminate 비추다 s.m.

29

ILLUMINATE
Shawn Mendes
Chapter-29

   Damn it! I pound my fist onto floor beside me. "I always mess things up!" I retort angrily, dropping my head above my knees. "Why can't I do anything right!"

   "Shawn, please don't be mad." My little sister hugs my shaking body, comforting me. "We could always bake cookies or something else. It's not your fault."

   I sadly shrug my shoulders, incapable of saying anything. My fiery red face and puffy eyes displayed for anyone to see made me sob even harder than before. I just want to throw something, break anything, hurt someone. I don't even know what, but I'll do anything to make the pain go away.

   "Play your guitar. Dad brought it up here so you could play. He fixed it." The rain taps on the roof as Aaliyah cleans up my mess. I just wanted be a good brother for once.

   I raise my head from my knees and wipe my eyes with my hand. "I haven't played that old thing in a long time, I probably suck. Lets do something else."

   "Where's jasmine?" She asks for the grey, family cat. "Aaliyah, s-she's gone." I stumble over my words.

She sighs, "oh." She moves on to spraying the counters and disappointingly wipes it down. "How did mum take it?"

"Take a guess, Liyah." I scold, "I'm gonna head out. You call me if mum and dad aren't treating you right." I point at her and she smiles, nodding.

"You could call me if you're having boy troubles, but I don't know if I could help. Or You could definitely call if you need help with reciting your spells from school, of course I'd be able to help with that."

   "Yeah, um, don't count on that." She mumbles sadly, "mum said Im not allowed to contact you.. so right now I'm taking a big risk by you being here."

   "Oh, I-i didn't think she was like that." I reciprocate the sad mumble, as my head sits ontop of hers, "I should go before you get in trouble."

   "Don't worry about me, Shawn."

   "You're all I have."

   "And I'm glad. We're all we need anyway." Aaliyah nuzzles her head into my chest. "Right now everything is pretty crazy, but hey, there's nothing we can do."

   "I physically wish I could give you a piece of my heart, just so you could have a piece of me whenever you feel alone. Just 'cause I know it's hard being the only kid in the house with no one to talk to..."

   "Think of this as a new chapter of your life. You do your thing, and I'll do mine. And maybe somewhere in the future I'll see you again." She steps away from me, walking me to the door. "Promise?"

   "I-I promise." We pinky promise, our pinkies latched together, we bring it in for our final goodbyes. "I promise that one day I'll be around to keep you safe from the world."

   "No Shawn. I want you to promise me that you'll continue to keep driving down that path that'll lead you to your dreams. Forget about me, I'll just be another burden." Her big brown eyes beg desperately for me to make this promise.

   "I will." I smile hopelessly at her, "wherever I end up, is where I'll stay. But wherever I go, I promise to always have you on my mind."

   "Don't let this cruel world change you."

-

   After all that had to be said, was said, I got into my car, driving away. As I look into the rear view mirror I notice Aaliyah staring out the window, head propped up with her hands.

   "I can't promise that." I mumbled to her ghostly presence as she'd said to not let this cruel world change me.

-

   The day seems to have gone by awfully fast, leaving me with nowhere to go tonight. I check the time on my car radio, 7:04 pm.

   My phone buzzes unexpectedly, a group message from the hockey team appearing on my screen.

Toronto❄️: Fellow Toronto Hockey players, there's a bonfire tomorrow in the afternoon. Story times, photos, etc.. be sure to bring a date!

Me: ugh please don't tell me this is mandatory. 😪

Toronto❄️/ Warburton: You're going. And you're taking Madison .

Toronto❄️/ Oliver: ooh who's Madison?😏

Toronto❄️/ Warburton: shawnie's girlfriend.

Me: way to keep it on the dl. 😪😒

Toronto❄️/ Warburton: My bad bro.

Me: I know I shouldn't be saying this but I don't think we're not going to last long. I shouldn't have asked her out.

Toronto❄️/ Oliver: dang.

Toronto❄️/ Bama: excuse me for butting in, but you better fix things with your girl before I turn on my Mr.StealYoGirl switch.

Toronto❄️/ Warburton: I agree with Bama.

Bama is typing...

Me: Ian you won't do jack shit. OH AND IM NOT GOING TO THAT DUMBASS BONFIRE.  BUH BYE