The Spark of a Revolution {Book 2 in the Daughter Trilogy} Watty Awards 2015

Chapter 11

Begining of part II

  The days leading up to Dare's funeral fall away like autumn leaves, and in a short time, I find myself facing my deepest fear.

  Goodbye.

  My Mom dresses me, I wear a long forgotten dress that once belonged to my gradmother. Black and plain, a reminder of the mourning that lives deep inside our hearts, cutting a perfectly round hole in the love for the person we once knew. My hair is braided into a messy bunny at the nape of my neck, and I wear a minimum amount of makeup. The bloody bandage wrapped around my head, ruins my elegance.

  "Here." She hands me my Mockinggjay Pin, "They wanted a promo, showing that an incident like this will not ruin our spirit, or something like that... I just--" She drops to the floor, tears staining her black gloves, I let her cry into my shoulder, all while in a daze.

  I haven't cried since I found out, I haven't talked very much either, only important words like "Yes" and "No." The doctors think I am relapsing into myself, I think they are idiots.

  Charley drops by daily, checking in on me. Each time it is like a knife to the heart, reminding me of the day he made me leave my brother.

  My mom cleans herself up and I sit in the rocking chair in my room, slowly rocking forwards and backwards. I think of all of the moments I watched my brother smile. It was his favorite hobby, smiling that is. He did it all the time, sometimes even in his sleep.

  I think of the day of the Reaping, and how I promised him I would make it out alive. He was six then, nine now, he didn't even get to be double digits. The family photo hung on my wall gives me a lump in my throat, and suddenly I feel his soft hair twisted beneath my fingers as I read him a bedtime story. 

  All those beautiful moments, gone along with him.

  "It is time." Max appears at my doorway, sober and sad.

  I nod, and walk towards him grabbing my trenchcoat. My heels click on the wood floor, and I don't resist him when he reaches for my hand. Stability is something I find hard to come by, and in this moment, Max is my stability, my brother, my best friend. He lets go and wraps his arm around me, I lean into him. I am a few inches shorter then him normally, the heels I wear add those few inches, but I still sink into his shoulder like a small child.

  Charley and Eli meet us in the hall, they hand me and Max a candle, and soon the hallways are flooded with people, the only light coming from the candles we now hold in our hands. Us four lead the group, the people behind us are silent. Max has his arm around me, and Charley holds my free hand, Eli walks protectively beside handing a candle to Emerald and Tee, who now join the group. Jonny, a face I haven't seen in forever appears and embraces me, lighting his candle with mine. Maisy stays at his side the whole walk. Soon, all us survivors are in a perfect line, me in the middle, them surrounding. 

  We get outside and I see the trail towards the woods, which will eventually lead to the meadow. The same meadow I played with Dare in every summer, I lean into Max more, and Charley squeezes my hand.

  I keep my eyes on the sky the whole walk, not wanting to forward or backwards or even at the floor, no, instead I examine the clouds. I find one that reminds me of Dare, and another that does the same, soon every cloud has shaped into one of his favorite toys or reflects his favorite color.

  Max lets go of me, and I see we are at the burial. Everyone floods from the trees, and circles my brothers coffin. Inside, it is empty, they had to burn his body to kill the disease that killed him. I find my mom among the crowd, she grips his ashes in her arms. They are secured in a small vase, with an ornate pattern painted creatively on it. Just the blue of the stroked swirls reminds me of Dare's blue eyes.

  The Priest of a weekly Catholic Church group, says Dare's final blessings. Each word is like a needle to my eyes, but I don't cry.

  "I know Darius was a loved little boy. That is why I ask you, what do you want to say to him before we part. We are allowing volunteers, so please." The Priest asks, and Max lets go of me, raising his hand.

  "I would like to say something." He smiles a forceful fake smile, and pushes me towards Charley.

  He shuffles towards the Priest, and stands beside him clearing his throat.

  "Darius Thresh Mellark," I hear Haymitch whimper behind Max's words and shrink, "or as I knew you, Dare. Where to start little boy? I could start with the best things about you, for such; your good heart. I could start by telling a story; like when you walked in on me and your sister skinning a rabbit, and insisted we were using the wrong knife." Everyone laughs, but me, "But really at a time like this, we can't start with the past, we must move on with the future. Darius, I speak for everyone who ever had the honor of knowing you, you were perhaps the most perfect little boy to walk the Earth." My mother sobs as Max walks back.

  Several others speak, Haymitch, my father, my mother who cries half way through, and Charley. Someone raises their hand in the audience, and I see it is my Aunt. She walks towards the Priest.

   My mom inhales sharply, forming the word 'Prim' with her mouth.

  "Darius. I knew you only for a short period of time, but I do know the stories of your great adventures with your family. I wish I could've seen you grow, could've heard you laugh for the first time. I wish I could have held your hand as you took you first steps, but Darius, I didn't. I regret it every day, I regret not trying to get to your mother sooner, not resisting Snow's charges. I regret not getting to know you. I bid you fair well my little adventurer." She speaks so truthfully, then runs towards my mom, who is on the floor crying. I see a flash of the person she once was, and my hand goes up.

  I don't know how I get to the Priest, but I am there beside him saying goodbye to my little brother.

  "Dare. My brother. Words can't describe the love I have for you. Darius, you were, are," I correct myself, "the best thing that ever happened to me. You are the thing that kept me going through the games, through the bombs. Through life. Your smile, it gave a glimpse of what it was like to be utterly content. Your eyes reflected the lake in the woods. Everything about you, was perfect. I remember that last day, when I wanted so badly to break the glass, and kiss your face. When I tried to save you, but I couldn't. And I know you wanted me to leave you there, you wanted me to go on. But I just can't get your little face out of my mind, so scared, too young. You asked me to sing to you, you asked me to sing."

  Everyone in the crowd has tears rolling down their cheeks.

  "Deep in the Meadow," I begin to sing, "under the willow. A bed of grass," I breath.

  "A soft green pillow." Prim is now at my side.

  "Lay down your head." Max is beside me.

  "And close your sleepy eyes." Charley is now behind me resting his head on my shoulder.

  "And when they open, the sun will rise." We sing the melody together, tears in everyones eyes. This time, including mine.