Disastrous Mindsets

Bottle them up, it's better that way

The girl was cute, no doubt there but, there was something more about her, something so much more than angsty and emo. She had this look in her eyes, it said more than words ever could. You could tell a lot about someone from their eyes but, I had never seen someone with their life that perfectly mapped into   an optical organ. It was like reading a book looking into the deep brown sea. I could see all of the pain, all of the heartbreak and all of the nonrefundable love that she used to have. With one glance I instantly wanted to learn more but, I felt like I already knew it all. There was something so amazingly familiar about her, something so nostalgic. She did like MCR though so maybe we could be friends at least. 

"Okay class, you may start working on the project with your partner. Remember it's due in just one week!"  

Ms. Mason's voice woke me up from my daydream and I found myself completely clueless as to what the actual fuck was happening. I looked to my left without thinking and locked eyes with Isabel. We sat there for what felt like centuries but it must of only been a few minutes. I broke the connection when I looked down at her desk, a sketchbook was hidden underneath on her legs, I almost recognized what she was drawing. It looked like a person, someone I knew, someone who I could barely remember but I didn't have time to figure out who because she quickly slid it back into the metal frame, it was out of sight. "I think we need partners or something, Umm... do you wanna work together? I mean everyone else already has someone and I wasn't really listening but you don't have to it's just..."

"Yeah. That would be great." She cut me off with confidence.

Once we figured out what we were actually supposed to be working on we actually had a lot of fun. It was some shitty "all about me" project, almost identical to the ones we did every year. I didn't mind doing the pointless poster as much as I would, I was learning a lot about Isabel and it turns out, we were a lot alike. Like, a lot alike. We had everything in common. Everything.

"Aren't you hot in the jacket?" Isabel eventually asked, refering to the black hoodie that I always wore. 

"Ummm.. I... yeah a bit actually."

"You do know we're aloud to take them off right?" She said, giggle mixed in with her words. She really did know how to push the right buttons.

"I can't." I said calmly, knowing that the bell was going to ring in about thirty seconds and I would be free to bottle everything back up again and leave the room. This was a conversation I couldn't have. Admitting this to her would force me to admit it to myself, deep down I know but my conscious refuses to accept it.

"You-"

"Beeeeeeeep"

As expected the bell cut her off before she could ask the obvious question so, I gracefully escaped to math, leaving her in the dust to rip apart my conscience another day.