Philophobia | Malum |

N i n e t e e n

April 26th, 2016

There's always something beautiful about life. Maybe it's waking up every morning and seeing a peach-grape-blue sky every morning. Maybe it's taking a walk or a stroll through your neighborhood and adding emotions to the color of leaves. Maybe it's laying down on a grassy hill, staring up at the clouds and giving them meaning, giving them something, a structure, a definition that gives you hope. Maybe it's just sitting inside of a local café and writing poetry. Those are all examples of beautiful things. But in my opinion, all of those need to be scratched out, because Michael Clifford is at the top of the list, and he deserves to be in that placement for an eternity.

We were starting to grow closer. I'd go to his ballet performances, and in return, he'd come to my games. Today is one of the biggest games we're ever going to play, that is withstanding that offer before we make it to the league, but other than that. . we're just. . trying to win, trying to become something other than Arsenal.

Coach was being really hard on me. He was yelling, constantly blowing his whistle and cussing me out for every time I'd get knocked down by an opposing team player. He even sent me to the penalty box for missing a goal, and he'd send someone else in who sucks. It was outrageous, and I could tell it pissed Michael off. I could tell, because he was sitting on the risers with a blanket over his shoulders and a bag of popcorn in his hands -- it was in his hands, he dropped it. I had my eyes on him the entire time, rather than the game. . he was more important to me than some sport, and this was my entire career, this was my entire future.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Now Michael was yelling. But he wasn't yelling at me, he was yelling at Ted. "Calum is the greatest damn player on this team, and you're putting him on the sidelines?"

"It's for the best," Ted pursed with thin lips, and Michael just rolled his eyes. He wasn't even supposed to be on the field. He could easily get kicked out and suspended from going to future games, but I wouldn't let that happen. I'd quit the team if anybody even dared. "For the best? Really? For the best? You'd think your head would be out of your ass at the age you're at now."

"You're really pushing my buttons, kid."

The coach blew the whistle at another player, who just looked confused because he wasn't doing anything wrong. The score was 4-7, they were losing, and he still refused to put Calum back into the game. "Let me push them just a little bit more then. You want to win, right?"

"Obviously," Ted rolled his eyes.

It was the fifteen minute break, the only break that the team was going to get during this game. "So prove it, then. You're unreasonable as hell for just kicking Calum out of the game. He did nothing wrong. He shot all four of those goals. Ever since you put him on the sidelines, your team has been slacking and hasn't scored a single point. Is that what you want?"

"And why should I take advice from a faggot?"

"What did you just call me?"

"A bloody faggot," Ted said a little louder, catching the attention from the other people on the risers. I was already listening in on their conversation. It was adorable listening to Michael defend me. "You do ballet for fucks sake! That's for girls! Get your ass away from my field."

"Fine," Michael smiled, and I loved how he remained calm, how he kept his posture straight and confident, how he didn't act on impulse. "But just so you know, this faggot knows more than you ever will."

Ted just looked speechless. His jaw was a bit open, his hands were stacking upon each other like racks, and I couldn't help but laugh. I couldn't help but smile. Michael is so strong when it comes to everything -- everything except for love. "Oh, and Ted?"

"What?" Ted stated in an angered manner.

Michael hit him in the face.

Literally. Fist and everything.

"What the fuck?!"

"That's for being an ignorant piece of shit."

Ted gave Michael a punch back, aiming right for his eye, and that's what pissed me off the most. I couldn't just stand here and watch my coach hit my crush like it was acceptable. Michael was defending himself, Ted was just. . . I don't know. I don't really know what to do in a situation like this.

"Don't fucking lay your hands on my boyfriend again."

Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Michaels heart did a little flip, and he couldn't control the pace of it beating now. It was awfully fast. Mine did one too. "Oh, so you're a faggot too? Nice. Can't have any of those on my team."

"Hate to tell you this, but you have over five fags on your team, and they're what'll lead you to the championship. Keep your mouth shut next time."

"You know what, Calum?" Ted questioned in a calm manner, and I knew this couldn't be good, but quite frankly, I didn't care. I was fed up with his bullshit. "You're off the team."

I wasn't sure why I froze right then and there. Maybe it was because this has always been my dream, or maybe it was just a moment of shock for me. Either way, I wanted to cry, and I could tell that Michael noticed too.

-

"Let's get you cleaned up," I mumbled under my breath, dragging Michael into the infirmary where the nurse should have been. This was the place I first embarrassed myself in. "The nurse is out again. She should just get fired, honestly."

"Hey, that's not nice."

"Right," I frowned, grabbing a cotton swab from one of the cabinets. "He literally gave you a black eye."

"S' okay."

"It's not okay, Michael. It's not. He just. . he just h-hit you, and I don't like seeing you this way. You're already mentally hurting, and now physically too? I - I can't."

"I hit him first."

"You were defending yourself."

"He deserved it."

"I know."

Michael smiled, wincing a bit as I dabbed the cotton swab with rubbing alcohol against the outer corners of his eye. "I'm really sorry about getting you kicked off of the team."

"It's alright, he was an asshole, anyway."

"But. . that's why you moved here, right? To be on the Arsenal Soccer Team."

"Yeah," I chuckled sadly, "I think I've found something a lot more interesting out here in London, and I'd like to explore it more."

"What is it?"

I just shook my head, because he was so obvious, but it was cute. He was cute. "You'll just have to find out."

-

A/N;

Thoughts?

This chapter was all over the place. Sorry.