Randomness of Ginger (or 🗑)

Why?

I thought it was a funny joke
Guess I was wrong
I didn't know it would turn out this at
Now you say trust will be harder
             I am sorry
For everything I've done
I don't have to let me in
Because I deserve to feel this way
I need to deal with this pain
That I've caused you
I'm disgusting
          Horrible
Do forgive
But never forget
Thats how it goes
How can anyone love or forgive me
Im ugly
      Fat
              Stupid
Worthless
I've met the one but...
We don't mix very well
They are a beautiful book everyone reads
I.. I'm a torn page that everyone discards
Even if someone tried to tape me back
It'll never be the same
Why can't I stop my feelings?
I don't deserve feelings
Why would people want a torn page?
I know it's probably just pity
Just to make me feel better maybe?
Who would want me?
Who would want a torn page
                    A piece of broken glass
                                      A dim light
                   A dead tree
A lonely grey cloud
Who wants that?
No one
I may seem happy
But f you look on the inside
Just a little closer
I have no happiness
It's mostly sadness
I know I said I would tell my true feelings but..
It's hard to express my true feelings in front of people
It's so scary I feel like I'm getting judged
You try to tell the truth about your feelings
But..
Most of the time my friends take away the sadness
But it comes back
I can't hid forever