Breathing the last moments

~Chapter 3:Huge goodbye's and small hello's~

These last hours were the best of my life, they felt like drugs, my own brand of heroine. I haven't even packed my stuff yet, I didn't want to. I don't want to leave. And, the way Harry holds me in his arms, tells me he doesn't want me to leave either. We were at the same place as we were hours ago, you know, when it all got to me. He had held me in his arms since than, and I cried. A lot. You could see the stains of my tears on his grey shirt.

"Babe?", he asked, cautious, no knowing how I would react.

"Yeah?", I replied.

"You should probably go packing, I think your new house is waiting", he said, with remorse in his voice.

"Yeah, I should", I said, slowly getting up, "will you help me?"

"Of course, boobear, of course."

And with that I got up, pulling with me towards the closet. All of a sudden, Harry's hand left mine, and I turned around to see why. He had walked towards our bed, and reached underneath it. He pulled my huge weekend-bag from underneath. With that bag he walked back to me, and pulled me into the walk-in-closet. I couldn't help but think that this will be the last time I will be in this closet. It broke me, literally, because I fell on my knees again, with my eyes closed. I felt two strong arms lift me up again, but I instantly fell down again. Harry picked me up and layed me down on the white duvet. He gave me a soft, sweet stroke over my arm, before he started packing my stuff. I curled myself up to a ball, my head between my legs.

About 15 minutes later, I felt the soft, long fingers again, this time on my back, caressing sweetly, tracing figures.

"Are you coming babe?"

I tried to say yes, but nothing came out, so I just nodded, but didn't get up. I didn't want to, I didn't want to leave this house, my house. I didn't want to leave my boyfriend, leave him here all alone. But I had to, if Harry and I wanted to be together ever again. But it hurts,  it hurts badly. Like a hole in my heart was torn, brutally ripped out of my chest.

But than, Harry woke me up from my thoughts, because he had picked me up and carried me downstairs to the hallway. He was guiding me, because else I would fall, and than I wouldn't get up anymore. I heard a bell ring, the doorbell. The car was here. I turned around in Harry's arms and saw his face, for the last time. At least for this week, we haven't planned anything  with the boys this week. Modest will probably not allow for us to see eachother. A single tear fell on my cheek, ran down it and it dripped onto Harry's shirt. More tears made it that way. Harry wiped them away, but through the water in my eyes, I could see he couldn't keep in his tears very much longer. He has been so strong the last hours. He hasn't let a single tear yet. But it was, the first one, followed by many more. I placed my head on his shoulder, just as he placed his head on my shoulder. It was like a magnet, he moved, I moved, just like always. We cried together, untill the doorbell rang again.

"You have to go, Boo", Harry said, with the pain in his heart visible.

I opened the door, and stepped outside, into cool, chilly air of the evening. Chills were sent over my body because of the sudden coldness. I turned around for the last time, my last look at my boyfriend, before stepping into the car. This made me think terribly much about that song, Breathe by Taylor Swift.

 I see your face in my mind as I drive away,

Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way.

People are people,

And sometimes we change our minds.

But its killing me to see you go after all this time.