Breathing the last moments

~Chapter 5: Questions and tear stains

Since management decided to shut Harry off from everything, I decided to write him a letter. Just a little something to show I was thinking about him, that I haven't forgotten him.

But within a few minutes my bedroom floor was covered in paper trash. Nothing was good enough. Finally after 4 hours writing letters as long as the Big Ben high is, I managed to get one sentence on a paper, that I was satisfied with.

What was our moment, just a moment you remembers you of us. A moment that you cherish and keep with you forever?

I grabbed an envelope from the drawer next to my bed and wrote down my address, oh no,Harry's address and put a stamp on it. Now I only had to figure out a way to get it to him, without management noticing.

But I already have a plan.

Tomorrow we have a studio session planned, then I will give this letter to Niall, with the instructions to give this to Harry and only to Harry. He will understand, he is Harry's closest friend, apart from me. I glance at my alarm and realize it's already late. I should get some sleep, it's a busy day tomorrow. Eleanor is already asleep, she looks sweet while she sleeps.
In the few days I've known her, I learned so much about her. She's not doing....what she's doing for the money or because she hopes that a relationship will grow from this. She just wants to help me through this dark period I am having. She's great. Sometimes I think I should hate her, because if she wasn't there, Harry and I would still be living together, but than a small voice in my head says that management would've found someone else, that could've been much worse. Eleanor helps me, supports me, so I don't hate her. Of course I don't. She's grown on me, as a friend, as much as I've grown on her. As a friend. I will never love her in that way, I love Harry, and I always will.
I lay down in bed, trying to get some sleep, but it won't come. I lay like that until my alarm goes off. I jump out of bed and tiptoe downstairs, trying not to wake Eleanor, but when I come downstairs I smell some baking eggs so I stop being quiet. I walk into the kitchen and see Eleanor in an oversized shirt trying to bake some eggs, but not really succeeding.

"Shall I give you a hand?", I ask, and she jumped.
"You scared me!", she says, making me smile.
"I know I did", I say cheekily.
"But you can help me though, by throwing these completely disgusting eggs away and give me some new ones", she says, also smiling now.
"Are you sure you want to do this and won't let me do it? I don't fancy a burned down house you see..." I say innocently.
"You bastard!", she says, "I've been living on my own for 5 years an I've never burned anything down!"
"Okay okay, easy, don't kill me!", I say while getting the eggs from the refrigerator.

When the eggs are done, they look perfect by the way, we eat them, of course. After that I take a shower and then it's already 11 a.m. I hear a horn blowing outside. My car, here we go!
The lads are already in the car, but I notice one curly haired guy is missing in the van.
"Where's Harry?" I ask no one in particular.
It's Liam who answers, "He was gonna be picked up by another car, that's what they told us. Louis, would you mind telling us what happened? Why aren't you two living together anymore? Why do you all of a sudden live here? Did you two break up?"
"That's a hell lot of questions", Zayn states.
"True", I say, "but let me explain. A few days ago Harry and I were called into the office of Modest! you know. The told us it would be bad for the image of the band if Harry and I were gonna go public. 1D doesn't need 2 gay-people in the band, 'cause a lot of fans would stop being fan. I stated that, first, the fans wouldn't stop being fan, because they love us for our music and not for our sexuality. Second, that the fans would simply love us more because we have the guts to stand up to those motherfuckers at management.
They didn't like that. That's when they told us they were gonna separate us. We fought back, but they didn't listen. So that's the story."
I told all that without a smile and very monotone, like it was someone else's story and not mine.
"Wow, Lou, and you can cope with that?", Zayn askes.
"I have to", and that settles it, they know I'm done talking about it.

When we arrive at the studio, Simon is standing outside, looking a bit unhappy. We get out of the car, and he walks directly to me and places a hand on my shoulder.
"I heard what happened between you and Harry, I'm sorry. I really thought your relationship would work", he says.
"What are you talking about? Harry and I didn't break up! We were separated from each other because of management! Harry is my soulmate, my boyfriend, my... my everything", I exclaim, while a few tears roll over my cheeks, the first ones in 5 days.
"But Mr.Griffiths told me that you two had broken up and that you came to them to ask whether you could get a fake girlfriend to show you weren't gay!" Simon says surprised.
"The lying bastards!", I say, angry now, "who would you believe Simon? Harry's and my story or the clearly made up story from that...that lying dipshit?!!", Niall laughed at the background at my new made up word, "shut up Niall", I snapped.
"Sorry, not funny", he apologizes.
"Guys, guys! Shut up for a moment. Louis, please come with me for a moment", Simon says.

I walk with him into the studio, waiting for him to talk to me, to say he's behind me and Harry and our relationship. He walks into a room without any windows, closes the door and turns around. He looks me in the eye before saying:
"Louis, I know you love him, and that he's you everything and all, but I think they've made the right decision. It's better for the band. I'm sorry."
I let his words sink in for a moment before they drop like bricks in the pit of my stomach.
"NO!!! Please say you don't mean that, say you believe in us, please, say...I...I can't do this anymore, on my own, all alone", I say while I finally break down, tears streaming down my face. I fall down, on my knees. I crawl into a corner, to hide myself, to never come out again.

Apparently, Simon left without saying where I was, 'cause it took Liam 2 hours to find me in the corner of the dark room. He sprints towards me and places a hand on my shoulder.
"Louis, what happened?", he asks, and asks again when I don't answer.
"Louis, talk to me please, please don't shut me out. You can't have that now, you were doing so great!"

Then I hear someone else coming into the room and I feel Liam getting up quickly. They whisper. They other person says something a little too loud, and I immediately recognize this voice.

"Louis"

It is Harry.

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Hello my dear readers,

Did you like it? I'm sorry for not updating for so incredibly long. I hope you all liked it and that it made up for all lost time. From now on I'm gonna try to update every week.

Xxxxx iMalikspower (I know he left but he's still my favorite;-))