The Life of a Biker's Daughter

First Class Ticket To Hell

I can't believe it has been a whole year since I graduated high school.  Everything feels different.  Gemma has made me co-manager of the Teller-Morrow garage.  My mother has sort of come around to the idea of me staying here; the reason being, because I am helping watch Kenny and Ellie, which is a load off her shoulders.  And Jax and I are...well we are what we are.

There is no proper title for us.  In other words, since we kissed at the barbecue almost a year ago we just kind of became whatever we are now.  Most nights we end up in the same bed, except for the occasional nights I stay with Opie's kids, or when Jax is on a run.  I steal his t-shirts and wear them around the house after work.  He brings me home take out and beer when it's been a long day.  No titles, no problems, and lots of great sex.

"Darlin' we have a run today.  I won't be home till later tonight.  Or early morning." Jax's kisses the top of my head, while I am sipping away at my coffee.  Bliss overcomes me, as I feel his lips against my head.  I hold back a giggle that wants to escape from me.  Jax is the only person that brings out these silly feelings inside me.  

"No worries, I am sure Donna and the kids will love if I come by for a visit," I tell him, leaning my head back to look up at him.  Jax hovers over me, his arms holding on to the back of my chair.

Jax smiles down at me before placing a chaste kiss on my lips.  I pick up my cell and dial Donna's number.  A day with my family sounds great.

&&&&&&&&&

Ellie is fast asleep in my lap and Kenny is sprawled out in Donna's.  We had taken the two of them to the park all day.  The weather outside today had been too perfect for us to do anything else except hang out outside.  There had been a light breeze sweeping through the air all day, but it was still warm enough for you to wear just a t-shirt and shorts.  Smiles and laughs were shared until we brought my niece and nephew home.  Shortly after putting on one of their favorite movies they conked out.  Now Donna and I are watching some comedy I can't remember the name of.

"Do you love him?" Donna blurts out randomly.  I stop brushing my fingers through Ellie's soft hair because the question has caught me off guard.  Donna and I have been relatively quiet since the kids fell asleep.  They looked peaceful asleep, and neither of us wants them to wake up from us being too loud.

I look over at her, not quite sure where the question has come from.  Sure I had told her about the recent development in Jax's and I's relationship, but I wasn't someone who went into details about my feelings about significant others with people.  Relationships are a private matter to me.  "Are you asking me if I love Jax?"

"And I don't mean love, like deeply care about him.  I am asking if you are in love with Jax Teller." Donna's light blue eyes dig into me.  I know what's she's thinking.

Is it possible for someone like me to be in love with someone?  All of my life I have been that spontaneous, troubling causing, little sister of Opie Winston.  Nothing held me back from what I wanted, and anyone who got in my way was sorry.  No one knew what I was going to do next because half the time I wasn't sure myself.  Committed was not a word I would use to describe myself.  If I didn't want to do something anymore, I stopped.  Whenever something didn't feel right to me, I did something else instead.  But, that doesn't mean I am not loyal.  I would do anything for my family, and friends.

So, I understand what Donna is asking when she questions if I am in love with Jax Teller.  Jax has a devotion to his club.  Sons of Anarchy is in his blood; it's all he has ever known.  Jax isn't ever going to leave Charming, this is his forever home.  When I am out of college I have no idea what I am going to do with my life.  Hell, I may find myself half way across the world.  Essentially Donna is asking if I would tame my craziness and settle down with Jax Teller.  Would I give up my ways to be here for him when he comes back for a run?  If the club needed my help would I give up whatever I was doing to help them?  As an old lady, you needed to be there for your man when he needs you, because what these guys do isn't easy or stress-free.