The Life of a Biker's Daughter

The Mess I Made

A burning feeling stings my eyes, when I open them.  Damn it, I forgot to take my contacts out before I crashed yesterday.  Last night was a shit show, to put it nicely.  Whisky had drowned all my problems, temporarily of course.  I am sure Jason didn't randomly go back to Vegas last night.  There is no doubt in my mind Wendy is still four months pregnant with Jax's kid.  And my mother is definitely still ignoring all my attempts to contact her.  At least in three months Opie will be out of jail.

Rubbing my eyes, I slid out of my comfy bed.  I notice my bedroom door is slightly open, my clothes from last night in a pile right next to it.  The feeling of the shaggy carpet makes me crinkle my toes, trying to warm them up.  Carefully I take my contacts out, cursing at the acrimonious pain that accompanies being an irresponsible human and sleeping in this flimsy things that allow me to see.  

I am not sure how I managed to change into one of my coveted SAMCRO t-shirts and undies last night.  Truth be told, I don't rememeber going to bed or coming home from the club.

This shirt is the comfiest shirt I own.  I have grown accustomed to wearing it, and a couple other long shirts to bed, because JJ bursts into my room without knocking on a daily basis.

Honestly, I am a little surprised I didn't wake up in JJ's bed.  When I get really drunk, or when he does, we crawl into bed with the other and cuddle.  It's an unspoken thing that we both have done for as long as I have lived here.  There are no binding feelings that come with it, and it doesn't come with complicated emotions.  Emotions that neither of us need anymore of.  

Without glasses or contacts I am completely blind, everything is a blur of shapes.  Walking down the small step that splits the tiny living room, that's connected to my bedroom, I hold on to the wall for support.  It's strange that I didn't have to open the double doors.  Sleeping with them open creeps me out for some odd reason.  Slowly, I walk over to the coffee table by my couch.  Leaning over the table, my hands sweep over the table to feel for my glasses that I am sure I left here yesterday morning.

"I wouldn't mind waking up to this every morning."

"HOLY SHIT!" I scream, tumbling backwards into the couch, accidentally falling onto a hard body.  It feels like my butt landed on someones chest.  Panicked, I go to jump off the person, but they wrap their arms around me.

"Calm down darlin', it's just me." Jax chuckles.  The familiar smell of cigarettes and musk fill my nose.  There is a pinch of alcohol mixed into his normal scent, but I don't mind it.

All the muscles in my body relax under his warm touch, and I laugh slightly under my breath.

"You ass!  Did I let you sleep here last night?" I lean my head against the back of the couch, catching my breath.

His arms tighten, and he slides his body to sit up, taking me with him.  His abdomen is pressing against my back.  I know I should move, but I feel my comfiest in his arms.

"I needed a place to sleep," Jax mutters.  His forehead presses on my shoulder blade, causing a hitch in my breath. This isn't okay, we can't do this.

Over and over I tell myself the only reason he slept here last night is, because he didn't want to go home to Wendy, his pregnant wife.  The more I say it, the more I feel uneasiness.  His pregnant wife.

I untangle his arms from around me and go back to feeling around for my glasses.  Hands gliding over the wood, until I touch something.  My hands find them within seconds, and I put on my black frames.  Turning around, I see Jax's looking at me.  His blue eyes are drinking my sight in.  

A pinch of color burns my cheeks.  Gosh, I hate how he can so easily make me melt under his gaze.

The sound of my bedroom door slamming against the wall causes me to jump a little, and I turn my head to see who is coming towards us.   A shirtless JJ runs into my room, a gun in his right hand.  "Casey! Are you okay?"