Amen.

Chapter 2: "You're not alone."

       I locked the door behind her family, stood in the door way, and just watched her. She was now setting on the floor on the inside of the rail, leaning against it. She was hugging her legs together, looking up at the stained glass picture of Jesus in Gethsemane. I could tell by her breathing she was crying.
       I wonder how to approach her. She probably doesn't want to be bothered. Just left to think. To cry. To pray. Alone. But the truth is, no one is alone. No one is meant to go through anything by themselves. He didn't only create Adam OR Eve, He created Adam AND Eve. Yes, sometimes we need "Alone time", but it helps to have "Alone time" with someone who will let you cry on them. Yes, you need quiet time to pray. He never lets go of us, but sometimes a friends arms around you helps a lot. With that I get a idea. If she wants "Alone time" I'll let her make the first move.
       I take my time walking up to the alter, then I set in a front pew to the side of her. She hears me. No way she can't, we're the only ones here. She sighs, I notice. Hey, I'm doing very good right now. Would you rather me walk up there with you and pull you in my chest? I'm trying here. Either way, I'm not leaving.

       Why won't he just leave. I'm not trying to be mean. I just want..( sigh )...I don't know. I don't know what I want. I want my life to be easier.

       She sighed again. And now she's crying, hard, not like before when you could hardly tell. She hugs her legs tighter. It's so odd hearing her cry. You don't hear the whimpers like normal. All you hear is the strong sniffs. I can't take this anymore. I get up and go up in the alter. I set down next to her, and hug my legs. Same position as her. She cries, and it's everything for me not to hug her tightly, but I stay, and wait for her. I then start praying for her. *Lord. Have Your way with her....*
       I get praying so long that I don't even notice she's not crying anymore. I look over at her and she's completely still, breathing peacefully. She's asleep. Poor girl, she must be exhausted. Then it dawns on me, she cried herself to sleep.
       After a while of setting next to her I decide to grab my Bible. While she sleeps, I'll read.

       Maybe a hour later I notice she's got her head slightly raised. She looks up slightly then puts her head back down. "Hey Abby." She doesn't move. She has to get better at this. I place my Bible next to me on the opposite side as her and gently pull her head back up by her chin, but she doesn't look at me, she looks down. "Hey." I say softly, nearly a whisper. I put a piece of hair behind her ear. She really is beautiful. She lightly smiles, and as quickly as it was there, it left. I pull my hand away slowly but she takes it in her hand. Her grip looser than normal, but she's probably exhausted. She sets our hands on the floor between us and just holds it. Then lays her head back down on her knees. I rub my thumb on her wrist and she starts doing the same on mine.
       "Abby..." She turns her head to me, but it's still laying on her knees. "You don't need to get through this alone. You aren't alone." For some reason this makes her sigh and move her head away. "What Abby?" I ask her softly. "I know you can't literally, but talk to me. You can come up with a way to moution to me what's going on." She sighs. I intertwine our fingers. She lets me. "Show me Abby. I'm here. Tell me anything, even if it's 'Will you just leave me alone.'" She laughs and tightens her grip on my hand, I tighten mine with her, and rub my thumb on her wrist. "Come here girl. You're gonna have a kink in your neck if you stay like that." And I tug her arm to me. She gets the idea and scoots closer to me, resting her head on my shoulder. I take my hand that was once with hers and put it around her shoulders. This girl is too sweet to have this much stress on her.
       "Ok, so are we comfortable?" She laughs and nods her head 'yes'. "Ok. Now, what's going through that head of yours?" She then motions with both hands as if she were writing on her palm. Paper and pencil. "You mean I have to get up?" I whine, jokingly. She laughs and moves over. I go in my office, get a notepad and pencil and take them to her. She takes them and crosses her legs. A girly way of setting. I set across from her and cross my legs as well. Putting my shoulders on my knees and fingers together under my chin. When she looks at me I blink many times in a row like girls do. She laughs and I do too. Then set like normal, but keeping my legs crossed