Amen.

Chapter: 5 "Secrets Always Get Told, Eventually"

NOTE: This Chapter starts continuing
Abby's last scene in previous chapter.
And what I mean by "Scene" is the
last time things were wrote in her Pov.
ENJOY!!!!

~ Abigail ~

I ran to my room and slammed the door. I can't go through this again. It's not that I don't want to tell Tomas, he knows I have problems in school after all, it's just that I want to forget, if only for a few seconds.
I go over to the stand up mirror, I look horrible. I grab a heal shoe and start to break the mirror, but I stop myself. I drop it to the floor and just set where I am on the floor, and hug my legs. Dave wants to know whats going on. I didn't want him to know. It's not that I don't trust him or what not, it's just I know it will either hurt him, or make him mad, not at me but at the kids in school. Mom has too much going on to home school me, and besides, why do it now? I'm nearly done.
I let my legs go and just lay on the floor. Why is my life like this? Why does everything have to be so stressful? So many questions I don't know the answer to.

Finally after probably a hour of just laying on my floor I get up. Find nice soft snuggley clothes and take a shower. On my way there I notice I hear a lot of talking, "..say. Who ever did that to her I will kill." Dad says. Uuugh That's exactly why Dad can't know. He'd blow the entire school down. "Phil, don't say that." Mom says. "If anyone hurt my sister, Mom, I'm sorry, but I'll be right there with Dad. As will Jared." And with Tomas' words I walk away from the staircase.

As I get ready for my shower I think of Dad and Tomas' words. Yes they are a little dramatic, but it shows how much they love me. Dad was in the military, so if he says he would blow something up, or kill someone, perhaps many people, I wouldn't put it past him. He's not a serial killer at all. Just if he knows someone he loves is being hurt, I know he would do anything to protect the person(s) he loved. Him being in the military blessed him. He knows a way to get his hurt out without using the actual people who caused it. When he is overly mad (which doesn't happen very often) he goes outside in the back yard. Finds a tree, and kicks and hits it to get his anger and/or hurt out. He also is a man of God. So if anyone watched him (like I sometimes do) eventually when he's too exhausted to hit anymore he falls on his knees, prays, cries, screams, anything to get that last bit out. Then he comes back in lighter (supposedly).
As for Tomas, he is more sweet than aggressive. He is one to be affectionate, at least to those who want it. He and Jared I've seen hug a few times, but Jared isn't much on hugging so when he hugs me I make sure to savor it. Tomas however. He is one to run to if you want a good cry, or a big 'I love you'. Of course he isn't a wimp either. He could fight someone easy, after all Dad did teach the two boys self defense.

In the midst of all my rambling thoughts I step in the hot water, and sigh in relief. The Hot makes my mind go blank and all I know is the water. My cares, worries, and thoughts go down the drain with the koolaid. I wash my hair twice before I get the cherry smell out. I stand there for a while, then I start to pray.
All too soon my shower is over. If it were up to me it wouldn't be, but my water is cold. I step out and put my soft sweats on. I go out and back in my room. All I hear on the way there is the squabbling of my family in worry. Pretty soon Dad, Jared, and Tomas will need a tree. That thought actually makes me giggle.

I close my door and await a knock any moment. I grab my tablet he gave me and cross my legs on the bed, pencil in arms length. How do I start all this? Well, maybe I'll let him start it with questions, then I'll just answer them. Easy, right? Heh, guess again. My thoughts are interrupted by a knock. I know who it is, but I wait to be assured, after all, Dad isn't exactly the one I want to face right now. Then my phone vibrates on the mattress.

8:08pm - Dave - "Cmon baby. Im alone. Its just me."

With that I get up and open the door. "It's time baby." I nod and step over for him to come in, then shut the door leaving a small gap. I go back on the bed and he is there looking at how I've got it open to his message. "You liked it?" I write "Of course I did. You are the only person outside of family I text." "I don't know rather to be happy or sad at that." he says while laying on his side propped on his arm facing me. "Please, be happy. It's one of the only things that make me feel.....normal." "Again, I don't know rather to be happy or sad at thah" he says while giggling, by the end you can't hear the last t in "that". I join him in giggles.
Slowly his smile fades, and he looks down at the mattress in sadness. Here we go. Deep breath Abby, you can do this. When he looks back up he's serious, no jokes, no laughing. Only love and worry is seen. "Abby....What happened?" So much for answering his question's'. I sigh. Nothing but the truth can be told. So I may as well let it all out. Every bit. "My life. That's what." "Why didn't you ever tell me you were bullied?" Truth. too many truths can answer that. "Many reasons -
1) I didn't want it to hurt you.
2) I was ashamed.
3) ...well.... 3 is silly." He looks at the note carefully. "Ok, lets do these one at a time ok?" "Ok." "Ok. 1 What do you mean you didn't want it to hurt me? It hurt more you not telling me." Oh crud. "Oh, I'm sorry. I just.. We know each other as if we grew up together. If I told you I was bullied, then you would either be mad or sad. Public is my only way, Mom tried Home school for a few months, it was too much. Besides why stop now? 5 months isn't long. Then I'm done with all of it, permanently." This is kinda easier than I thought. "It's ok. You're right. Only I'd rather be mad than what I am now.." And he looks at me. "Sorry...." "It's ok. Now, explain 2." "Well....I don't really know how. I don't like being bullied. It's yet another thing that happened because I am mute." "How long have you been bullied?" "Well, I guess 4years...We moved in this area so I changed schools. Last school was ok, I'd grown up in there, everyone knew and felt sorry for me. Here, I guess they'd never met a mute person before." "4years Abby? Oh my gosh. How am I just now finding out about this then?" "Well, that's why sometimes we had to change plans. I did honestly have homework. Just, also...was a mess." "I see." Is all he says. He looks down at the mattress again and just sighs. It's not often HE sighs, usually me, that can't be a good sign. "Alright, what's silly number 3?" He says with a light smile. Truth. "3, is, well.... I ...liked you not knowing.. Because with you not knowing, I had a way to forget I was. You weren't sorry for me, because to you there wasn't anything to be sorry for. I was.....Happy. Which for me now-a-days, is hard." He smiles and takes my hand. "That's not silly, baby." I smile and start playing with the tablet. I draw a heart and then start on something else when he says, "Hey, let me see the pencil a minute." I hand it to him and he inside the heart puts "A & D" in it. He is so sweet.

-Dave-

How can a brand knew 25 year old preacher fall in love with a 19 year old mute girl? I'm not degrading her. I'm just surprised for how much I'm falling for her. When she drew that heart I had to see our initials in it. They remind me of something, but I can't put my finger on it. Oh well, That's my ADHD for ya.