SUNDAY MORNING
I woke up groggily and looked around I had drunken to much the night before. That was for sure my head was pounding and I felt faintly nauseous. I untangled myself from Dakotas arms and made my way to the bathroom to shower. I stripped off my clothes and turned the water on as hot as it would go before getting in and washing myself. I got out about twenty minutes later and wrapped myself in a towel. Dakota was awake and waiting to use the bathroom. She smiled sweetly and put a reassuring hand on my back. She could probably read the hurt on my face from last night. I went to my bedside and picked up my vibrating phone. twenty three missed calls, seventeen texts. ugh. I began to flip through my recent calls. Every last one from Cef. Same with my in box. I rolled my eyes and read the last text I had gotten.
Cef - please bby! I needa explain text or call ASAP I love you.
I hit reply and began to type a text back.
Me - idc. I don't wanna hear it. fuck u!
Childish I know but I couldn't help it. Almost instantly I received a reply.
Cef - thats the prob. meet me in 1 at the cafe.
Me - FINE! was my reply. I dug through my closet and pulled out a pair of skinny jeans black boots and a black sweater. I straightened out my frizzy hair and slicked on some lip gloss before grabbing my purse and cell phone and heading out the door. The cafe was only a few blocks away so I walked. As I approached I saw Cef was already there. When he saw me he had a look of surprise on his face, as if he didn't think I was going to come. Of course I was going to show. This sorry piece of shit owes me an explanation.
"You look beautiful baby." He said when he got closer and my heart fluttered involuntarily, like it always did when I heard his voice. I didn't say anything, but followed him to the table. I sat down and began my breathing exercises. I was surprisingly calm. We stayed silent until out orders where brought to us. I picked at my food. Not all too hungry.
"So..." I trailed, a signal for him to spill his guts.
"I love you Fifi."
"Yea, I'm sure you do." I said and rolled my eyes. A pained expression crossed his face and I almost felt bad. Almost.
"Can I explain?"
"Thats why I'm here genius. Spit it out so I can go home." I said and tapped my heeled boot to let him know I was getting impatient. He took a deep breath lowered his head and began.
"Fifi. We've been together for three years now, since junior year. I love you more then I've ever loved anyone in this whole world. I made a horrible mistake. I was drunk and we had that little fight earlier, and its been so long Fifi," his cheeks began to turn a deep red," I'm so sorry baby I love you. It was a stupid mistake."
"So. Your telling me...we had a fight over Dakota coming to the party, you had a beer or two...and forgot I was your god damned Fiance?!" I said as my voice began to raise slightly.
"I - I'm sorry. We've been together for so long Fifi, I needed it."
"Sex?"
"Yes." He mumbled barely audible. Me and Cef have never had sex. I can't do it. We tried once or twice. But as soon as our clothes come off I end up cowering in the corner crying. I know what your thinking. Let it go, its been three years. But its not that simple. I cant let go. I cant forget. I'm in therapy, and have been ever since the thought of murdering Mitch passed through my mind. It helps me cope a lot, its gotten me over my paranoia, my anxiety, depression, anger, and everything else. But I cant bring myself to have sex. Cef had always been sensitive to this fact, he had always said that he would wait until I was ready.
"So much for waiting for me." I said bitterly.
"I'm so sorry,it was a mistake! Please forgive me!" He nearly shouted as a tear escaped his eye and rolled down his cheek. I felt myself begin to soften.
"Ill think about it." I said simply and walked away heading for class. Well not really class. Since it was Sunday, but my English lit teacher had us meet Sunday afternoons in the court yard. It was quite nice actually. We did a little work and then goofed around until Professor Jim , yea, we used his first name cause his last was too long , brought us ice cream or pizza, he was every ones favorite at the school. I was making my way up the grassy hill to meet the rest of the class with my arms wrapped tightly around myself, I was looking down trying to get my tears under control before meeting everyone, when I suddenly slammed into someone. I teetered on my heels when someone grabbed my waist and steadied me. I looked up and mumbled a quick thank you, before doing a double take. Standing before me with an amused look on his handsome features was the mystery guy I had danced with the night before. But he looked so much better in the sunlight. I realized my eyes were bulging and my jaw was dropped so I quickly composed myself and nodded before walking quickly away. I found a spot and sat down my legs bent at the knee and on the side of me. I heard someone shuffling beside me and saw the mystery guy seated indian style not a foot beside me. I narrowed my eyes at him and scowled. He just smirked and I noticed he had cute little dimples.
"Hey." He said while leaning closer to me.
"Leave me alone." I said, eyes narrowed. He leaned back and through his hands up defensively.
"Whoa! Whats got your panties in a twist?" He said and laughed.
"My boyfriend fucked a nasty blond skank last night." I said monotone. His eyes widened and he opened and closed his mouth a few times as if wanting to say something but thinking better of it. I smirked to myself, that shut him up. I turned back and listened to the lecture, which only lasted about 30 minutes. When it was over I quickly stood brushing blades of grass off my butt. I thought about staying for the get together after wards but decided against it and with a wave good bye to everyone started towards home. I was deep in my thoughts when someone grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into a small ally between two store fronts. Intuition took over. I slammed my elbow backwards into the persons stomach. I brought my foot backwards and kicked the person between the legs finishing with bringing my head back and slamming it into their face. I turned around in horror. Mystery boy was crouching holding his family jewels as blood poured out of his nose.
"Oh my freaking word!! I am so sorry!!" I shouted and rushed to help him. He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. He looked funny. Too many self defense classes I guess. I helped him into the nearest cafe, we went to the bathroom and I dabbed blood off his face as he held ice that the waiter had given us between his legs.
"I'm so sorry...erm..."
"David."
"Yea, David, you scared me it was a reflex I'm really really sorry."
"No problem...erm?" He said copying my tone.
"Fiona, but you can call me Fifi."
"Thats a pretty name." he said and brushed his fingers through my hair, I hadn't realized how close I had been to him I was so intent on cleaning him up. I quickly stood up straight and made my way to the door.
"Thanks...uh...I have to go. Sorry again." I walked away as quickly as possible. Since I have been with Cef I never found myself attracted to another man. I barely noticed any other guys. But this one was hard to ignore. He has dark blond hair that was slightly shaggy, a chiseled face and strong chin, his lips where big, but not too big. But it was his eyes that really stuck out. They were a watery looking brown, but so dark they looked black. Like a deep dark lake you could dive into and drown.
I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires
And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
I grabbed my phone out of my pocket but knew who it was already. That was Cefs new ringtone. I looked at it for a second deciding whether to answer it or not. I clicked ignore and slid the phone back in my pocket.
Sorry its short guys I lost all my work yesterday and Just wanted to get something out there. The next chap of Thug Love will be up soon. And also the first chapter of I didnt know I was Lesbian =) Thanks so much for all the support!
