My Life As Ashley Purdys Sister

My Dark Past

**TRIGGER WARNING**
A/N If You Are Trigger Sensitive To Rape, Assult, Or Self Harm Please Skip This Chapter!

Ashlyn's P.O.V

*1 Week Later*

The nightmare came back every night. And it wasn't just that nightmare either, it turned into quite a few ones. I was afraid to go to sleep now, and I know my screaming and crying at ungodly hours of the might was starting to get to everyone.

We were back on the road so we weren't really do anything. "Hey Pika, can I talk to you real quick?" Ashley says. He heads to the back and I get up and follow him. "Yes?"

He sits down on his bunk and Taps the spot next to him. I walk over and sit down, "What's this about?" "Well, I know you've been having nightmares lately, I just wanted know what...what they were about. Cause I know you said one of them really happened to you...I just want to be able to help you more."

I sigh, "Ash, I'm sorry but this isn't something you can help with.." "Ashlyn, support comes in so many ways. Me being here right now is support. I just want to be able to understand so I'm not sitting here while you cry and not know what's going on."

I nod, but stay silent. "Pika, please." "When I was 12, I was coming home from a friend's house and me being the dumbass I am, took a shortcut. At the time I didn't know I was being followed, that was until I got to the alley. That's when I turned around and saw him...I panicked and began walking faster and eventually he cornered me in another alley.... He physically assulted me, then raped me... That's why I keep having nightmares. I was so stupid."

I had begun to cry halfway through and now I was sobbing, and I had my head in my hands. "Oh my God. Pika Im.." I cut him off, "Its not your fault, don't apologize for my stupid mistake." He grabs me and just holds me as I sobbed.

Ashley's P.O.V

Ashlyn had just fallen asleep. I changed her into her pajams so she'd be more comfortable as she slept, then I tucked her into her bunk and turned off the lights. I shook my head as I closed the curtain. I couldn't believe something like this happened to my little girl. I went to the back room and just cried. My little girl...

Someone knocked on the door. "Ashley? You good bro?" I hear Jake ask. I just ignore him. I just needed some time right now. I don't hear him again.

I sigh and decide to follow behind Pika and go to sleep. I get up and walk to my bunk. She was fast asleep but I could tell that it wasn't a pleasant sleep by the pain on her face. I get in and lay down next to her. Poor baby.

*The Next Day*

Ashlyn's P.O.V

I woke up with tears running down my face but I was also cuddle up to Ashley which immediately made me feel better. He was still alseep so I gently remove myself from him and climb over him.

**TRIGGER WARNING**
A/N If You Are Trigger Sensitive To Self Harm Please Skip To The End Of The Chapter!

I grab some clothes and head to the bathroom to take a shower. I get undress and just look at myself in the mirror. I looked disgusting.

The little voices in my head began to whisper. Ew. You look fat. You're ugly. You whore. They began to get louder. YOU'RE DISGUSTING! PIG! WHORE! YOU'RE SO FAT!

I start crying and grab my makeup bag. I dig through it till I find a little square box. I pull it out and take the lid off. It opens to reveal a little silver razor blade. I had locked the door and turned the shower on by then.

I sit on the floor of the shower with the razor in my hand. As the voices continue I put the razor to My arm and begin cutting. The cuts themselves hurt but the hot water on top of that stung like hell, but it calmed me down some. It took my mind of the emotional pain I was experiencing.

A little while later I washed and quickly got out. I got dressed and straightened my hair. I didnt bother with makeup.

Everyone was up by now and eating breakfast. I put my stuff back then go sit on the couch with a book. "You gonna eat sweets?" Sammi asks and everyone looks at me. "Not hungry." I say not looking up from my book. "Oh, okay."

I hadn't noticed but I had completely zoned out. Someone sits next to me and I jump. "Hey, hey, calm down. It's just me." Jinxx says. "Are you okay?" He asks me. I nod.

"Are you sure? Because you haven't eaten, you're not talking or interacting with us, you just jumped out your skin because I sat next to you, and you've been zoned out for the past 20 minutes. You have not read not one page of that book."

"I..just got a lot on my mind." He nods slowly. "Like?" I shrug, "I 'ont know..." He nods again. "Well can you at least eat something? Please?" I sigh, but nod my head. He gets up and grabs a plate and puts some food on it for me. He hands it to me.

"Do I have to eat it all?" He shakes his head, "Eat what you can." I nod and begin to take small bites.

*Later On*

We had finally got to the next venue. The guys weren't playing until three and it was only eleven so we still had time.

I decided that I needed some fresh air. "I'm gonna go walk around for a bit." I say walking into the living room area. "Okay, just make sure you're back by the time the concert starts. I nod and head out.

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