What the hell even is this ~2AM Sasha

A very 2 AM poem

Sometimes it was hard to live

The breath inside the lungs to heavy upon the mind

Sometimes it was hard to live

The constant mental calling of death tying your noose due to your own incompetence to do the simplest of tasks that would stop your family's pain

Sometimes it's hard to live

The wonder if your death will stop the thoughts, like an eternal sleep but with only one of the dreaded evenings

Sometimes it's hard to live

It's numb, nothing means anything anymore, the happy memories hazed like a long forgotten dream and somehow you blame yourself

Sometimes it's hard to live

What were you thinking blaming yourself for the events that happened , the unhappiness of the family; you mean nothing to them, they told you yourself that your a defect

Sometimes it's hard to live

They carry on , you've tried to stop it: stop them
It didn't work

Sometimes it's hard to live

You didn't cut it deep enough
You might as well have not done it
It's nothing on the pain your family must feel by even being around you

Sometimes it's hard to live

Why do people even talk to you anymore; is it a mockery, a joke
They don't even want to sit next to me
They don't think I hear them arguing about who's turn it is to sit next to    that

Sometimes it's hard to live

Are you even worth death anymore or is he casting you away
Maybe he should
Everyone else is

Sometimes it's hard to live

They're forcing you to eat now that they noticed the lack of false smiles
Makes the family photos look nicer

Sometimes it's hard to live

You've told your friend, their sinking as well, they deserve to live but not you

Sometimes it's hard to live

The sentences start with my selfishness
I can't believe I thought I could survive
Even the kid from class knows and they remind me every time

Sometimes it's hard to live

You've told another
As an excuse for an argument; shows how much of an attention seeking brat I am
Weighing down their normal head

Sometimes it's hard to live

It's behind my head, behind ,my eyes following in a cape of pitiful lies

Sometimes it's hard to live

Numb numb numb
Your breathing is getting lighter now
Them caring may be true
But you won't  fall for any haunted tricks
There not they tell you

Sometimes it hard to live
Almost trying to write a poem with an absence  of an end
May the commas be the naps and the colons be the sleep
But may the fall stop never come till you be an aged old fool

—-——————————————————
I'm sorry this sucks , I blame 2AM me
But for some reason it's still going up
Oh wait this is still 2AM me putting it up now

So don't question it, I'll forget it exist

Thanks for reading anyway
Stay alive kid
~A