Haikyuu Imagines. {Haikyuu x Reader}

Goodbye. (Ukai Keishin)

-This chapter is a tribute to Kazunari Tanaka. I was greatly saddened by his death, and I decided to write this angst to honour his contribution to such a splendid anime like Haikyuu.-

    Ukai Keishin has always been by your side from day one. You were only just starting to find yourself at that stage, and often kicked everything you cared about aside to feel in control of your unstable life. However, volleyball was one thing you could never hurl to the curb. The sport made you feel alive. No matter how many dark thoughts harboured at your heart, just feeling the ball snug at your hand was enough to put you in a better place. You worked hard, climbed to the top and was offered a position in the national volleyball team of (Desired Country Name). This is where the kind-hearted Ukai Keishin came in to support you with everything you've got. From high school coach to supervisor, he managed to scrape up enough money from fundraising and advertising at his tiny little shop he ran to send you off for exclusive trainings with professional coaches. You started to develop feelings for him long before, but you never had the time to dwell on it at all. It wasn't until the last day in Japan where he offered to buy you your last supper before you left for good.

"Make sure to eat up. Eat a little at a time...to grow stronger." he hummed quietly as he pushes the bowl closer to you.

  You didn't really have much of an appetite. All you felt was sorrow and sadness as your departure meant that you weren't going to return for quite a long time. With all his trust and passion invested into your future as a volleyball player, you didn't want to disappoint him in the slightest bit.

"Thank you for the food." you whispered as you started to devour the delicious plate in front of you.

  But as you did so, the shrimps in your dish started to blur, and you almost choke as your throat swells up alarmingly. The sobs shook your body to the core, and you tried your best to conceal it by leaning forwards. However, Ukai noticed how your shoulders were trembling, yet he decided not to say anything. Instead, he watched quietly before reaching over to ruffle your hair roughly.

"(Your Name), do you remember the feelings of frustration and bitterness you felt when you lost matches?" he asked out of the blue, shocking your tears away as you looked up at him imploringly. 

You nod.

"Good, don't ever forget it." he sighs as he throws his head back to light one of his infamously cheap cigarettes. "But don't hold on to feelings like that for too long. Wipe them away if possible."

"Thank you for the meal, Coach." you murmured after calming down and smiled at him with your best grin. "I'll make sure to never forget what you've done for me."

  It was mid-day, the worst time to be departing. The endless sea of blurred faces whiz past you, but your attention was only focused on the broad back of the man in front of you. His bleached ends reflected off the busy afternoon sun, and you could tell that he hasn't been maintaining his hair colour for quite some time. You always hated airports, not that you've been in many in your life. But the cacophony of noise around you gave you a splitting headache, and you were already in a pretty irritable mood already. A part of you wanted to just stay in the comforts of your hometown, but the other side of you wanted much more than just a dull provincial life. You wanted to make Ukai proud of you, and you are determined to make that happen. The cheery voice that announced the endless flights hammered at your nerves, but it's not until it calls your flight number when the voice contorts into one that seems ominous and dark. You know that it's all in your head, but you can't help but look up at Ukai desperately, in hopes that he would agree with you staying after all.

  Keishin turned slowly before extending his arms out wide for you. His goofy grin plastered on his face reflected an expression of great sadness. You didn't say a single word. Instead you end up throwing yourself into his arms. You don't feel worthy of his affection, and you resolve that you'd return to him once you were good enough to be treated as an equal. You are merely a pupil under his wing. Once you start flying on your own, he'll definitely have to acknowledge your feelings right? That's what you've been telling yourself for years, and that's how you'll see your love for him now. You turn around just in time to see him waving at you, you wave back with tears already streaming down your face before disappearing beneath your hoodie as your grotesque sobs grow unbearable. The tears dribble off your cheeks and on to your outstretched hand before sparkling in the blaring sunlight. You force your legs to move, despite them screaming at you to turn around and run back to the safety of his embrace.

I guess for now, this is goodbye.