Avoidance (McHanzo)

10

Their walk of shame was filled with side glances and in the end Hanzo found himself gently intertwining their fingers to put his mind at ease, though Jesse hardly seemed to mind with a hum of content. They were stationed a few fields away, and though his com had been blown out during the explosion and he was well aware they would have to foot the bill though he knew they'd wait even with a lack of communication. Such soldiers were not the kind to go down to an explosion, though if they were to wander across the hill and help them carry the gear that had gotten increasingly heavy throughout the walk he wouldn't complain.

"What are we?"

Came Jesse's voice, slightly strained and he shot a look at him reassuringly.

"It depends, what would you like us to be?"

He was too far gone to deny it, the feeling in his heart was finally welcomed and openly encouraged to thrive as a multitude of thoughts hit him all at once. Though the anxiety about becoming unwanted, resented almost, remained and his view of affection was less than perfect - somehow a cowboy with a cheap belt buckle and faux cowboy hat managed to make him ignore that. He wasn't afraid anymore, instead he allowed the smiles to come freely. His father had been wrong, emotions never made him weak - if anything they just allowed him to continue to thrive.

"Somethin' more than this," he began, using his free hand to gesture to the pair of them "Because whatever the heck we got goin' on here, I ain't sure what it is but I want more of it."

"As do I."

"In which case give up the mopin', give up all of that and be mine."

He murmured, though it was more of a question than anything. Hanzo was desperate to tell him he'd always been his, though he silently cursed himself for being so melodramatic - but instead opted to simply agree and get it over with.

"Happily."

If he thought the cowboy couldn't smile any wider he was wrong - a grin firmly plastered on his face as his own lips twitched up into somewhat of a smile. As they appeared before the aircraft, the looks of dismay, anger and finally peace passed over the team's faces, their hands falling to their sides before anyone could notice. The rain that was beginning to fall from the sky disrupted the reunion and though the pair insisted they were fine they were still ushered to a quiet corner of the aircraft by Angela of whom shot them both sympathetic looks.

Gently she began to poke and prod, examining them carefully as if she was scared they were going to break. Jesse was first, and though at first he resisted he soon resigned himself to his fate. It was a different story for Hanzo of whom was unwilling to let her lay her hands on him, such intimacy was reserved for nobody and nothing at all.

"I assure you Angela, I am fine."

"Then allow me to do a check up, it is protocol after all."

Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, he tensed as her hands traced along his skin and past his tattoo where the dragons began to squirm. They knew, they knew what had gone on and why he just wanted her hands off him. His skin was crawling, and his throat ran dry but he couldn't form the words to tell her to stop touching him.

He wasn't quite sure whether the dragon's appearance caused him to jolt forwards, or vice versa though clear as day the two dragons were before him clawing her hands off of him in anger. Whilst his liberation caused instant gratification he feared they would do damage, watching the doctor back away as they swarmed before her. It was laughable, nobody was sure whether to glare at Hanzo or the dragons though profuse apologies left his lips as he looked down in shame.

The hand that gripped his reassuringly made it just that bit better though, and he found the dragons retreating before Angela retired to find Winston and Lena. Nobody knew any better, though he could only hope that they realised he tried to contain them. It was one of the flaws about having them embedded so deep in you, even if you tried to fight them back if you felt you were in danger they would always prevail.

A stray hair fell before his face, and he silently tried to calm himself though somehow he could only focus on the hand in his. It dawned on him that Jesse had no idea what had gone on, though to reveal it to him would be giving him more power than he knew what to do with. Silently mulling over the memories had become a coping strategy and he did just that in a bid to steady himself, regain the cold facade that had melted away in the face of danger.

The flight passed in an instant, though Jesse never stopped reassuring him that it was ok. He knew Genji would come to ask him if he was ok, and with the wall threatening to rebuild he would turn him away - it was always the way it had worked.

Gibraltar was sunny when they landed, though a multitude of oranges and peaches painting the sky only drew a sigh out of him. The walk back to the debriefing was dull, the only sound being the click of spurs and heels respectively, his own footsteps silent even upon the concrete floor. He spotted the few that had remained at base awaiting their arrival though his eyes lingered on Genji for just a little too long, prompting him to cock his head quizzically.

Being ushered into the room, the last he saw of Gibraltar was the sun setting in the distance, clouds painting the place almost like a picture. Preparing himself for the inevitable storm about to come, he let out a laboured sigh and seated himself.