Seaweed Thoughts

A Statistic

Sometimes I throw words out of my mouth,

Aiming them for your ears,

They hit them,

Little impact.

Because my words aren't,

Always the right shape.

The right shapes are narrow and small... minded

My words

Not complementary to your brain

So your ears deflect them

Selecting and rejecting pleads

And CRIES

Because that word, those words!

Weren't the ones you wanted me to use!

The speed of the throws increase

As each word becomes weaker and weaker

Weaker and weaker and wea... My repeatition soon becomes easy to ignore,

Turn off,

Not to acknowledge

But my words, when repeatly thrown

Are a rope

A rope trying to latch onto someone,

Someone who will pull me out before I drown.

The rope of words fray with the growing disinterest

Of my so-called listeners

It frays as my distress grows.

One last throw.

A hand reaches out

The hand's head turned away

I am caught.

But my words split away,

A last fragment of words are thrown,

To your ear.

It's too late,

The thought of becoming a statistic has poisoned my mind

Due to ears being blocked by;

Brains

And

Mentality

1 in 3 transgender youth attempt suicide by the age of 20

I don't want to be the 1

Don't say my identity isn't the truth,

Repeating no and lies and your idea of truth,

Because in the end,

I will become another number on a page,

A news headline that makes the front page,

"Boy trapped in the wrong body"

Parents that always say her,

Confused

Surrounding me,

Drowning me,

Are deflected words.

My rope is cut by deniers.

My future is a statistic.

And months later,

I stand here,

Different person,

New me,

Still confused,

But happy,

Was it all the negativity surrounding me?

Making me think this,

When really it's that,

In time,

I've tied a knot in the frays

And currently I am swinging

No longer hanging

Swaying between that and this and then that again.

So, how do I define me in a tick of a box?

How about I don't,

How about we wait and

We see what lies ahead for my gender identity.

Because at the moment I may not be a statistic,

At the moment I don't fall under the term transgender

Because I identify as female

Identify and female

Two words I thought would never coexist

In my mind in harmony

But that does not mean I can't see it

Feel it

Understand it

Please don't let my brothers and sisters, your brothers and sisters

OUR brothers and sisters become a statistic

1 in 3 transgender youth attempt suicide by the age of 20

You may not be the one

I may not be the one

But someone will be the ONE

Please

When they throw words out of their mouth,

Hold your hand out,

Save them from plummeting

Don't turn away because the words aren't the right shape.

1 in 3 transgender youth attempt suicide before the age of 20.