The Choice

Chapter Nine

As Ichimatsu stood in his prison cell, he saw his life flashing before his eyes. The abuse he had taken from his parents as well as the people who were in charge of him at the orphanage were all part of the past now, but he couldn't help but dwell on the words Karamatsu had said to him.

"If I am loved..." Ichimatsu thought, the feeling of loneliness wrapping around his soul so tightly that it was the only thing he could seem to feel. "then why have I only ever felt loved by you, Karamatsu? Why is it that you say such words, then kill yourself in front of me...how could you..."

Ichimatsu sat down on the cold, damp concrete floor and hugged his knees, beginning to cry.

"Did I ever get what they said I deserved?" Ichimatsu asked himself. "Was it pain that I deserved? Surely...surely that wasn't what you thought I deserved. But if it were love...Love doesn't exist. It only ends up hurting you in the end. Love is just a word people enjoy to throw around so carelessly just to flatter people. Flattery gets a person nowhere in life. Only death does. That means you've lived life, and you finally reached the end. There is no end to flattery...those smooth words can just continue to spill out of your mouth for hours, and in the end, it turns out that they were all empty lies. They were words you used because you felt so lonely...so useless...that you decided to use someone to gain that happiness back. But happiness isn't real either. Not a single soul is ever truly satisfied...not a single soul...is...satisfied..."

Ichimatsu stopped crying and wiped his face off with his ragged, blood stained clothing. The outfit Karamatsu had given him was no longer in perfect condition. It looked more like loose rags that he had used to cover his body.

"And thus...nothing ever changed..." Ichimatsu thought, his eyes burning. "That's how filthy I am..."

Suddenly, two guards walked towards Ichimatsu's jail cell, one carrying a thick braided rope, and the other carrying chains.

They dropped the items on the ground, intimidating Ichimatsu by how heavy they really were.

"You have been sentenced to death by the village leader," one guard said, his voice monotone. "for the crimes of murder and robbery. Unforgivable sins that cannot be tolerated in our peaceful community."

Ichimatsu didn't say a word, his heart pounding in fear.

"Karamatsu's God...if you are real..." Ichimatsu prayed, beginning to cry again. "please allow me to spend eternity with Karamatsu..."

And at that, a sudden flood of relief washed of Ichimatsu as the two guards stormed in, roughly binding his hands together with the rope and wrapping the chains around his two ankles.

And with a swift kick in his back, Ichimatsu stood up, feeling dizzy, and almost slightly happy.

And as he walked through the prison, the guards spitting on him and whipping him as they led him to the guillotine, he felt nothing but happiness.

Ichimatsu kept his head held high as he walked to his death, a calmness in his soul. He knew that, no matter what was going to happen, something great would happen again one day. Even if it was hundreds of years in the future, Ichimatsu was no longer afraid to die.

"I'm going to see you, Karamatsu," Ichimatsu thought calmly as he listened to the church bells ringing loudly in the distance right before he was beheaded.