Purpose

Chapter 1

Looking at the window. Laying in bed. Watching the sky pass by.

The clouds are always white, it's just like their pure.

"Hey, Fatima...you awake?" I turned my head to a girl calling to me behind the door. I gave her a satisfying smile.

"Great! I brought you new books. By the way, is your teacher going to come by again?" I tilted my head.

"He's out for today. By the way, thanks for the books. I owe you a lot" I energetically said to her.

"Yeah, like a lot. If you get released in this stinking hospital...repay me at once" She joked. I laughed at her.

"Ok. Sounds like it's going to be fun" I commented. She smiled at me and looked at her wristwatch.

"Ugh, this is bad. I'm late for my first subject. I need to go, if that's all right for you" I nodded.

"It's fine. You don't want to miss your classes" I joked.

"Well, I'm glad I get to see you this early in the morning. I was worried sick that your stupid brother didn't show up and took care of you. I think I was right. By the way, bye bye! I'll see you later, maybe" She said and went out of the door.

"Bye" I whispered.

Her name is Sunny Lane Mariña. My bestfriend. She has been with ne for like, forever. My mom and her mom was bestfriend. Sunny and I was born mostly on the same week. We grew up together. But we different kind of environment.

I really envy her. She gets to do what she wants. She gets to play, sing, do activities, go on fieldtrips, almost everything. I, on the other hand...Hospital and medicines. Ever since I was born...I was always confined inside this monotone room. Sure is nice to be Sunny for a while, right?

Right now, the only thing that keeps me smiling is Sunny and my family. My inspiration to keep on holding is the books that Sunny always bought for me. My dreams and my imagination. My life is on the edge, as always. It's a surprise I lasted this long. I've been living for 16 years. And I haven't been able to leave the hospital room. Even if I wanted too, they would just say it's too dangerous for me.

I'm not sure what kind of sickness or cancer that I have. But, all I'm sure is...once I stop my medication, the thing that I'm only clinging on for now, I'll be dead for sure.

I'm Fatima Castillo. 16 years old. I want to go outside and experience everything. Especially the feeling that I have been reading awhile now. Love.

What does it feel like to love? To be loved by someone not your relative? What does it feels like to see him? Even if I was confined for almost like forever, I never got to do anything and go anywhere...can I possibly find that guy for me? My body is frail and weak. I can barely stand...will someone ever accept a useless girl like me?

"Sorry to disturb...huh? Where are your parents?" The nurse came in, carrying the medicine.

"They can't visit for today. My parents are too busy with work. My friend just got late because of visiting this early in the morning. And my brother...well, slacking off as always" I said playfully. This is Joy. She's kind of close to me. She's my nurse. She takes care of me and keep me company whenever my parents aren't around. Kinda like a friend. Well, mom and dad really need to work because of my condition. Paying the hospital bills and stuff.

"Oh right, your brother. He just went here. He said you should eat this" She placed the plastic beside my table where the books that Sunny gave me are placed.

"Noodles?" I questioned. She smiled and nodded. That guy.

"Well, that's all what I came here for. I would love to stay but, I still have a few patients to take care of" She excused. I just smiled and nodded.

I took the lid off the cup noodles and ate it. It was delicious.

I wonder how other dishes tastes like? I'm never allowed to eat anything, anyway.

I took one book and decided to read it. It's title was 'The ballet dancer'. And I don't know why.

***

The book is thin. So I finished it fast. It's just a 20 Chapter short story. But, it's kinda similar to me.

The girl in the book is suffering from a cancer. And her life is counted. She doesn't have any time left. And like me, she spents her time in the hospital often. This cancer of hers, she inherited it from her grandmother.

She was often collapsing anywhere. And someone she knows would bring her to the hospital. Until that incident became a part of her daily life. She spent almost 3 years inside that hospital.

Then one day it hit her. She said to her parents that she doesn't want to be hospitalized anymore, and wanted to stop the medication. Of course, her parents objected. There was something they agreed though, that she will never be hospitalized anymore. But she will still take her medicines daily.

After dealing with that,she asked her parents to put her up on ballet. She was a great dancer. Her flexibility should not be questioned. She wanted to be a ballet dancer. Her parents just smiled at her and nodded, without even saying a word.

The first few days of her ballet has been painful to her. But she didn't give up. Time to time she would get weaker and weaker. Then she wouldn't mind it at all. Then the day came to her. Her teacher found out about her condition and insisted on quiting for her sake. She felt destroyed.

But then everything turned upside down that day. She went to the park to think about everything. She would bury her face in her palms and cry. It ruined her whole make-up. But she wouldn't mind either. Ballet was the one thing she always wanted to do since she can't.

While she was busy thinking the whole thing over and over again. A guy stood up infront of her. She looked up and saw a guy. Holding a red balloon.

"Girls shouldn't cry. It doesn't suit them" He would say. But that didn't stop her. It just made her more hurt. That guy tried to cheer her up and succeeded. Right then, they both didn't knew that they were becoming so close to each other. He told her not to give up on her dreams. Even though he doesn't know her condition.

They became closer and closer. Then on the last chapter, he would find out the girls real condition...when she just died. The guy didn't even noticed that she has some conditions because she keeps on hiding it from him. But who could blame her? She was scared that if she told him, he would leave her and be forgotten. She doesn't want that. Besides, she love the guy. Just as he loves her.

I hate the end though. The scene that he never found out and stupidly blame himself for not noticing. And I really hate it when she buys me books this sad. She knew very well what my condition is, yet she rubs it on my face.

***

"Fatima you go to bed now. It's bad for your health to stay awake and read" Mom advised. I only smiled at her and turned the page.

"It's fine mom. I'll sleep whenever I feel to. I'm not the kind to stay up late at night. You know that very well" I assured her. She only looked at me worried and smiled.

"Don't stay up too late. Your dad and I will be going home now."She said. I nodded.

"Your brother will be coming here to look after you tomorrow"

"Ok" I said.

"Were sorry we can't come back tomorrow. You'll have to forgive us" She said.

"It's fine. I know your doing your best for us. I'm not in place to complain" I said to her.

"We love you. Advanced happy birthday"

"Thanks" I said. She stepped out. I closed my book and put it on my side table. And looked at the sky once more.

What does it feel like to spend the night outside? Looking at the stars, resting on the grass. Along with my loved ones. That could have been the happiest of my life. It's amazing how the blue bright sky turn into a dark overwhelming sight full with shining stars. Could my life also change the way it is?

Well, happy birthday to me...

=====