Speak Up

Seven

Time did a horrible job at keeping me safe. It felt like it had passed so soon before I was back in school and waiting for Niall behind the building.

I want exactly sure what he wanted to talk about if it was anything, I doubted it he probably just wanted to hurt me because I was so weak that I nearly got him into trouble.

He walked slowly seeming relieved to see that I had stayed after school and decided to see what it was that he wanted from me.

I held my hand in a fist at my side tightly just in case. I was tired of him walking all over me and my dad had the perfect idea that I needed something to defend myself with after my accident, pepper spray.

"I'm actually surprised that I didn't have to come to your house. I didn't think that you would trust me." He admitted shoving a hand into his pocket, the other gripped his backpack strap.

He don't look like he wanted to hurt me. It occurred to me that maybe he was afraid of me, I felt like I had gained some new power over him. If I got hurt again someone would notice and he knew that.

"Right.. you probably aren't going to talk." He said sighing. "That's okay, I will do the talking." He said beginning to sound unsure of himself.

"I can talk." I felt the urge to remind him softly.

"Look, I couldn't tell your parents that I hurt you. You can't tell anyone either. I'm done, I swear I'm done I realized that I messed up." He pleaded with me.

I didn't understand his thought process, he save me. He told hurt me, saved me then told my parents a lie to save his skin but why did he save me. Someone would have found me.

"Why?" I asked softly. "Why did you save me?"

"Do you think that I am heartless?" He asked me incredulously.

I didn't say anything this time. What did he think? Every day I suffered, everyday I saw nothing but ruthlessness in his eyes.

"I may have made a mistake in hurting you, calling you names but leaving you somewhere unconscious, that is crossing the line. I can't stand myself, I can't sleep at night without thinking about when I looked at you unconscious in my arms." He said clearly becoming upset with himself.

"I didn't tell my parents that I was staying after school, they expect me home around the same time as usual." I said quietly. I suddenly really became aware of the fact that I would be in a closed space with him for an entire ride home.

"Right." He said leading me into the parking lot. I followed him, he wouldn't leave me unconscious anywhere so I had a little bit of hope that he would get me home safely.

When we did reach the car he wasn't any gentleman, not that I expected him to be. He didn't open the door for me and when we both got in and he started the car, his radio had blasted making me jump an my heart race.

"Sorry about that. Sorry about the mess." He said referring to the few fast food wrappers and bags that rested by my feet it wasn't that much but it was an unpleasant place to keep your trash.

The ride was mostly silent as we went along the highway, I couldn't wait until we began to reach the roads again then I would know that we were closer to home.

"God, look what I did to you." He said glancing over at me.

I suddenly became insecure, I couldn't do much to hide the a few bruises that were healing on my body. I began to shift unsure of which he had looked at.

"I made you so afraid to talk, to he open with people. I really did ruin your life." He said tightening his grip on the steering wheel.

I didn't know what to say to him. But it was okay because he was the one who kept speaking.

"When you speak you sound so soft, you blush deeply and sometimes when you have a lot of eyes on you, you look as if you are about to cry." He said.

That triggered something, a thought process to go back to a few days ago. I looked at him and suddenly all of the fear and quietness was gone. I sounded normal for once. "You were crying one day. Why?" I asked him.

He glanced at me and began to shake his head softly. "I guess I am just as fucked up as you are."

"No Niall, please tell me what happened. I didn't tell anyone about it, I deserve something don't I?"



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