The Blonde Cheerleader

Chapter Forty-Two: Own Kind of Cliché

"Clara," someone called out but it was drowned out by my thoughts.

We didn't win.

"Clara," another one tried.

We were second place.

"Clara."

The seniors and I were going to graduate without the title.

"Clara!" Vivian finally yelled, grabbing me by the shoulders to stop me from taking another step.

Blinking at her, I opened my mouth but I felt like my tongue was glued down. No words were able to come out and even though I knew that the right way to actually release my frustration was to just cry it out, I couldn't.

There were no tears, I felt numb. As if my muscles gave out at last, my body felt so sore, finally recognizing the brutality of training that I made it go through. I was already apologizing profusely to myself for pushing myself that far and ending up with nothing.

Here I was, boasting that I was number one and all that shit but now I'm walking away with the silver, not the gold.

One member climbed out of the bus, holding a birthday cake that was still in the box with the lid off. Someone lighted a single pink candle and they presented it to me, trying to make me smile fruitlessly, "We were saving it for after, you know, like a celebration."

Lifting my gaze from it, I looked around me. Here I was, moping around when my whole team were trying to cheer me up on my own birthday. They managed to quickly get over the lost, but from the guilty expression they were sporting, I can assume that they were blaming themselves for the results.

The burden of being a captain has never felt heavier than this.

Shaking my head to snap myself out of this trance, I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, blowing out the candles without even bothering to make a stupid wish. The fact that I responded to their small hope of lightening up the mood made they all relax as they clapped me on the back and started throwing me their well wishes.

"Thanks for a wonderful season, girls," I murmured, leading them back up inside the bus.

It was only in there did it sink in that their sole focus was trying to place a smile back on my face. There wasn't a dull moment during the whole journey, I was being passed around the seats, each member giving me a perky grin before going on about something with a cheerful tone.

I wanted to feel happy, I really did, not only because of my sake but because of theirs as well. They would never feel settled until they were assured that the effects of being declared a runner-up has gone through my head.

"Don't worry, there would be alcohol," Vivian clapped as if it was the ultimate cure for this slump I was going through. When I didn't respond, she lifted up her hands and yanked off the ribbon, effectively releasing the ponytail. I flinched at the sudden pain, ready to yell at her, but all words died in my throat as I sank lower in my seat.

It's alright, I wouldn't be needing it anymore.

And perhaps my lack of response to her vain attempt to elicit a reaction from me was the last straw, "Will you fucking lose that annoying frown on your face?!"

The other girls gasped at her outbursts, thinking that she went too far with that one, "We lost! Get into your shitty head, we lost!"

She almost spat the words on my face but I only turned my head, refusing to meet her gaze. She screeched, tugging on the ends of her hair in frustration, "If I thought the normal you was irritating as hell, this is more insufferable than that."