And then miss was asking about something. She pointed me out because it was obvious! I was not paying attention. I pretended as if I was asleep; staggering very hard from my seat I headed towards the class. She had a smile on her face because I am basically the reserved one . I don’t really speak much. And I don’t really love facing the crowd. That smile must have been the fascination, I thought. It’s her wide open eyes that reminded me of LILA. Not that I want to underline her too much, it just something that is clenching me deep from the heart. Like a proper GRAB and that won’t let Lila go so easily!
Nonetheless, I broke all my fantasies to grab all the attention from our teacher, as she said “Rashtra, tell me what is emotion for you?”
I couldn’t speak.
And when I did, I didn’t.
Word just did not come passing me through. I sat there for a while. And the first person I searched through the crowd was looking back at me, smiling.
“Emotion is a state of love. There can never be hatred. Either there is love or there is no-love. And emotion is when you feel both. For me, love is LiLA! All my emotions are entangled with her. But, for her I know I am the no-love portion. Technically she doesn’t hate me, but she won’t love me for what I am doing now.” I said without a hush, but I also clarified myself just in case, she would be furious. I was watching her intently as her face flushed.
“Lila!” I said. “I am not sure about anything. What kind of person you would want. How would you like him to be? I am definitely not a cool dude in a bunch but trust me, if we were lovers, love would be much easy!”
Before I would finish the whole class was ‘aww-ing’ making those little forehead creases and she was getting all the attention. Lila was already red and seemed ashamed of me. I did not bother much. I thought I had to do what I did.
When the sudden realization emerged, I couldn’t face our teacher. She was happy-but-why-did-you-do-it-my-class in a way. I couldn’t face her any longer. I made my way towards my lonely corner but, I was all ears when our teacher said, “its good that love is in the air but, don’t you think Rashtra, this was a wrong place?” she quoted. She asked me to meet her after the school got over. I had no idea, how would I spend my whole day in a school where all the forty four people now know whom I love. Worst, I had confessed it already. It was psyched moment. Within few minutes the whole school would be outraging with the epidemic of what I had just said. I spoke without even imagining any consequences. I was regretting.
