My Mediocre Love Life Chronicles: The Crush

The Letter

Dear Secret Crush,

Thanks A LOT for the annoyingly fluttery feelings that erupt in my stomach whenever I think about you.

I TOTALLY appreciate the nervousness I feel when I'm anxious about how I sound to you the days we get to talk.

I simply LOVE that I worry about sounding like a total fool in front of you and then when I do get tongue tied and whatever I say comes out sounding silly, I COMPLETELY and UTTERLY like how I feel my face burn and hope that you don't notice.

I CAN'T WAIT to see your smile because I find it adorable and I just smile because I'm the cause of it.

Yes, I'm being sarcastic because this crush thing is getting too intense. Please stop being so cute. THAT, I would appreciate.

Signed,

The Girl That Doesn't Want A Crush

P.S. But please don't stop being my friend. I like you. More than I should.

******

Maya sighed loudly as she finished writing down her feelings. It seemed about right. She should've be double checking her work on her Math test that she currently had on her desk, but she was too busy thinking of a certain dark haired boy that she had just finished talking to last class.

It was a routine at this point for them to walk to fourth block together. His English class was on the way to hers and it wasn't like she was gonna complain anyway. Talking about how crazy their American History teacher was in dressing up like Abraham Lincoln to introduce the civil war unit, Maya wondered if he thought about her as much as she did about him.

But that was stupid. He didn't like her that way. She should stop thinking that way before her feelings get hurt more than they already were. Still though, she wanted to imagine that he also felt his stomach do somersaults when he saw her walk into class or daydream of what it'd be like to be able to walk around the halls with their hands intertwined. Unfortunately, that was just Maya.

"Maya, are you finished?" Mrs. West, a teacher that seemed way too young to be teaching high school, appeared in front of her. She immediately shoved the note she wrote in her backpack.

"OH, um, yeah. I'm done," she stammered slightly, handing over the test.

Okay, it's time to stop thinking about him, she scolded herself. She settled for reading her book that was about the protagonist dealing with unrequited love. Wonderful...

*****

Trisha: If u don't ask him out soon, someone might steal him from u

Maya: Trisha u know I can't...

Trisha: Obviously with that attitude

Maya: I like being friends Trish

Maya: I don't want him to be awkward around me

Trisha: But what if he actually does like you?

Maya: Den y hasn't he said anything?

Trisha: I don't know, Maya. Why haven't you?

Maya: ok I get ur point

Maya: Still not gonna do it but I get what ur saying

Trisha: Fine then. We will now be crossing the Lonely Road coming up on your left

Maya: Lol Trish plz

*****

Maya found herself rushing to get to American History and today wasn't because she was eager to see Ashton. The late bell was about to ring and if she had hurried with that assignment due at the end of class instead of using half the time to talk to Trisha about how she was never gonna get a chance with Ashton, she might've not been running down the halls at this moment. She had almost tripped twice, bumped into multiple people, gotten dirty looks, but just as the bell rang, she had made it through the door.

"Hey Maya. You made it just in time!" she heard Ashton from his seat. Panting slightly, she dumped her backpack on her desk next to him and fell in her chair.

"Glad I'm not late. One more tardy and I'd have detention." She told him.

"Yeah that's BS, in my opinion. Who thought of that stupid rule anyway?" She nodded in agreement as she took out her binder for the class. Putting her bag down, she didn't notice a piece of paper fall and land under Ashton's feet. "You dropped something." He said as he picked it up.

Maya wasn't paying too much attention though. She was trying to find a pencil. "Woah, who are you crushing on?" She froze instantly and looked over at him. "I mean, wow, aren't you sassy?" He teased as he held up the letter she had written yesterday.

"Oh my god, give that back!" she squeaked, snatching the paper from him. "It's nothing!"

He laughed at her reaction and Maya felt her face go red. Can the ground just swallow me now, please?

"Hey, don't worry about it. I'm just playing," he smiled at her. "So are you gonna tell me who it is?"

"Never." she replied as she zipped up her lips and threw away the key.

"Why not?" he whined. "I could totally help you out."

"Nope," she shook her head.

"I'll tell you my crush if you tell me yours then." She stared at him for a moment. He has a crush...

"You like someone too?" What if it's me? Is it too much to hope for? Omg maybe it's me! Ugh, she couldn't think that way. These kind of thoughts would just break her heart when she found out it wasn't her.

"Yeah, but I'm not telling unless you do first." She knew telling the truth was not an option. It would be too embarrassing and she couldn't stand the thought of getting rejected.

"Fine," she agreed and quickly thought of a random name. "There's this boy in my first block. His name's Roy."

"Hm, I don't think I know him." He said, looking deep in thought as if to try to remember her nonexistent crush. "What's he look like?"

"Hey, I told you who he was. It's your turn." She demanded instead. She rather not try to go into detail for the fear of getting caught up in the lie.

"Oh, there's this girl in my gym class named Katie. I don't think you know her though. She's a senior."

"That's nice." she replied as she felt a lump form in her throat. She shouldn't be surprised, really. She knew the answer wasn't gonna be her. It was hard trying to keep the disappointed look, but Maya was sure she managed just fine.