I long for something to be wrong with me. Way to much actually but you see I want to be able to show a wound and say that's why I'm hurt look you can see it, I'm not making it up, even just a diagnosis by a doctor would satisfy me, I don't though, I'm not depressed, I don't have anxiety nor do I have bipolar disorder.
Maybe I am just living a normal life and the black clouds in my head are made up, maybe the self harm I did for so many years was just my imagination. Then why the fuck can I see scars on my hips, thin white lines that have taken six long years to fade to this.
If this is a normal healthy life like everyone else, I want to know how you do it, how do you go on living with this amount of pain every day.
If this is a normal life, I'm not sure if I want to live it.
