My Cattaleya (Subject to Revision)

My Cattaleya

One gloomy afternoon, I was sitting under a big Narra tree when a cute girl suddenly appear in front of me. She was holding a blue orchid flower named Cattleya while staring straight at me. I don't know if it was just my imagination but I'd seen a glimpse of sympathy flashed into her eyes as she reached her arms and handed it to me. I refused to accept it and tried to shoo her but she persistently handed it over still wearing her perfect smile which started to amaze me and lightened up my day. There is something about this girl that made me feel alive and happy for once in my life. But I decided not to show her what I felt and continuously pushed her away.

I've seen how her glowing face turned into disappointment. So, I quickly grabbed the flower in her hand when she was like about to cry. But I was surprised when I suddenly heard her melodious laugh. And for that moment on, I really can't help it, but also laugh. I never thought that I'd fall for that.

She and I became friends that day.

But one sudden moment, like that time when she walk towards me while holding that blue flower, she just suddenly walk away without even saying goodbye. She disappeared without me knowing her name. That was the first and last time that I had ever seen that cute girl, I named "Cattleya".

Even with just a day or even an hour, I still treated Cattleya as my friend. She made me feel special and loved- love that my parents never gave me.

I still go in the park and still sit at same spot where Cattleya gave me a Cattleya flower. Hoping that one day, we will be crossing each other's path again. And that day came one morning at the park.

I was sleeping under the shed of that same tree when I suddenly felt something was falling in my face. And as I slowly opened my eyes, I was dazed by what I saw. Blue petals were all over me. I hurriedly get up hoping that I will see that girl I had been waiting for almost 10 years now.

At first I felt disappointed when I hadn't seen any sign of her. But I regained my lost hope when I heard someone behind me cleared her throat. I thought that I was dreaming when I saw Cattleya came out behind the tree. I knew it is her. She still have those eyes that encourage you every time she stares at you. Her gestures that makes you feel alive and loved. And that same smile that always says that it's going to be alright.

"Cattleya..." the only word that came out from my mouth.

"Hi, ahmm... Naaalala mo pa ba ako?" she shyly asked.

"Oo naman. Kaya lang hindi ko pa naitatanong 'yong pangalan mo." I replied.

We both became speechless for that moment and both laugh at the same time. So we decided to start again and introduced ourselves.

"Hi, Yvan nga pala. Ikaw?" I introduced myself.

"Cattaleya. My name is Cattaleya." She giggled while emphasizing that is her name.

"At least I guess your name closely enough." I chuckled.

We started to tell more about ourselves. She said she was really not from our town. But she was temporarily moving here for some stuff. She said she'll be staying here just for six month. The thought of her leaving again is somewhat saddening but at least now I know when it will be.

Day by day, we begin to feel comfortable with each other. We became used to each other's presence. I, who never ever open his heart and mind to anyone, started to tell her the deepest darkest secret of my life. She never judge me. I never heard anything but good advices and encouragement. She's just there making me feel loved. And that I deserved to be loved. She's full of spirit and hope. Full of compassion and kindness.

It was proven when I asked her why'd she gave me that Cattleya flower. She just said: "E, kasi habang naglalakad ako noon, may nakita akong isang lalaki. Nakaupo sa lilim ng isang puno. Parang ang lalim ng iniisip. Parang malungkot... Parang nasasaktan. So, I'd decided that I should approach him and make him feel someone cares. Thank God, I'd made him laugh." We again, both laugh.

"Pero seriously, Para kasing nararamdaman ko 'yong sakit na nakikita ko sa mga mata mo. Saka according sa mga Japanese warrior, ang Cattleya orchids raw ay sumisimbolo ng kanilang bravery once they'd return successfully from their quest. At sa totoo lang, ayoko kasi talagang may nakikitang taong malungkot. Kaya kung pwede lang akong maging clown, gagawin ko." She said seriously looking straight to my eyes.

I could see through her eyes that her heart was sincere and full of compassion. And I admire her for that. With her kindness and explicit personality, I started to fall for her. So I decided to tell her. I tried... I tried to tell her even though it might impair our friendship. But no Cattaleya was found. You know, the painful part is not the rejection you might get from the one you love but the part that you couldn't even tell how much you love that person. Loving someone is like playing gambling. We might fall for someone that will never catch as when we fall. It is risky to fall in love. And I am ready to be wounded again.

I tried to look for her. I contacted the possible person who might had known her location. And I'd found out that she was just at her house, fighting that one thing that wanted to take her away from me. That one thing that tries to steal her life for.

Yes, she has Leukaemia. She was fighting it for a long time. I thought that I wrapped my heart with the strongest armour in the world but I was wrong. It's funny how quickly she made me feel happy and alive. But as hasty as lightning, she tears my heart.

"Umalis ka na. Hindi ko kailangan ng awa mo!" she shouted when I tried to go near her. I know deep inside her she didn't mean to say it. So I continuously walk towards her and gave her a hug.

"Eya, ako naman... Hayaan mong ako naman ang magbalik sa'yo ng pag-alaga at pagmamahal na libre mong ibinigay sa akin." My tears started running down my face as I said the most wonderful gift that she gave me through that blue Cattleya flower, "I love you... My Cattaleya."

Every day, we are warriors on our own battle. Sometimes, we succeed or failed. It's either we win or lose. But the most important thing in life is how we fight till the end and how we still move on with our lives. Being brave is one of the virtue that Cattaleya taught me. She taught me there's hope. She taught me how to face new mornings with a smile. She will always be in my heart and my mind, my sweet and brave Cattaleya.