『バウンド』 Bound

Depending on Another

"You promised."

"Just a little longer."

"No. Right now."

Lubbock huffed and leaned against a tree. However, Tatsumi could care less about the excessive pouting and very obvious attitude Lubbock had with resting for a bit. Besides, he did promise for them to stop by the lake in a few hours.

"You need a break too, Lubba."

"I'm fine."

"Come. On." Tatsumi tried to pull Lubbock over, but he would not budge and gave up with an annoyed scowl. "Well I sure wasn't wrong about you being a stubborn prat."

"And I wasn't wrong about you being too much as it is." Lubbock countered irately.

Both boys glared at each other before Tatsumi gave up and turned around.

"Fine, I don't care anymore. Mope all you want, we aren't passing out in the middle of nowhere."

"We'd get a lot farther."

"Jeez, and I thought I was the one with irrational thinking." Tatsumi mumbled. "You know what? Just do what you want. I'm going to be more logical about our situation. You can go get yourself hurt. Then we'd see who is being too much." He finally reasoned before heading to the edge of the lake. He dropped his back and sheathed sword, wondering if Lubbock really had took on the empty challenge. Instead when he turned around he found Lubbock still against the tree, but hugging his knees with such a defeated expression that even Tatsumi felt like hitting hisself.

"I'm sorry. You're right. We can rest here." Lubbock said while tucking his head in. Tatsumi sighed.

"I may be right, but you don't have to make me feel bad about it..." He said as he rubbed the back of his head.

"I don't want us to separate over a petty thing. I've already lost too many people." Before his heart could ache more, the rain once again began to pour even harder. Tatsumi chose to sit out in the rain while watching the disturbed lake. The thought of Lubbock leaving him hurt his chest too much. They have been through so much together that it would be hell if everything just ended within a small argument.

With Lubbock suddenly sitting beside him through his peripheral vision, Tatsumi leaned back on his hands.

"Go back under the tree. It's dry." He ordered. Lubbock shook his head.

"You're a hypocrite for saying that." Touché. It's better Lubbock than him however.

"I guess, but I just care about you. I want to-"

"Protect me. Trust me I know. But I doubt some rain is going to kill me." Tatsumi shook his head from the thoughts of Lubbock's family.

"You're right. I suppose I'm little paranoid-"

"A little-?"

"-since the incident. You know, with your family." Tatsumi finished. When Lubbock did not respond, he continued, "You could say I keep think imagining scenarios where you... don't make it." Tatsumi said while feeling his eyes watered. Throughout the trip, he remembered the Shura, the spikes that Lubbock had been impaled with, Lubbock's body hanging almost lifelessly, it all just kept coming back. "I haven't been the slightest more careful. If you had stayed home you would have also been killed. If you had left on your own you could have been killed. It's the big things like those that make me worry about small issues like rain. It's nothing about you being weak. It's just me being stupid."

He did not believe he would have ever been able to say that much. It felt much better to get it off his chest as well.

"... I think about a lot of that stuff too." Lubbock finally said as he stared blankly at the lake. "It often gets into my dreams. At some points I sometimes think 'What's the point? We're all gonna die eventually. All of my friends and family are dying off anyway.' And sometimes, I feel like I'm so undeserving of my life that's amazing how I'm still here and you still care. Even if I'm a stubborn prick." Tatsumi stared in surprise. Why did Lubbock not tell him this earlier? How could he hold such negative and esteem destroying thoughts to himself?

"I still care, because I don't want to lose you again." Tatsumi said at once. "It's not even the 'I want to get stronger' kind of thing. It's like the thought of you disappearing forever that would fuck me up for the rest of my life." He truthfully said as tears ran down his cheeks and Lubbock's eyes widened as his face reddened. "I-It's scary because I've never felt this way with anyone. Not in a creepy way o-or anything." Tatsumi wiped his eyes with red cheeks of his own.

"Tatsumi..."

"All I'm asking is for you to cooperate. That way, you can stay with me and I can make you happy. Seems like a fair trade, right?" He asked with a grin. Lubbock smiled back but his follow-up chuckle made Tatsumi blink.

"Wh-what is it?" Lubbock laid back on the wet grass, letting the rain hit his glowing face.

"Heh..."

"Tell me."

"... We almost sound gay."

Tatsumi pondered on the statement.

"Gay?"

"You know, holding hands, saying sappy things, except with the same sex." Lubbock explained.

"I know what it is, genius. I just didn't think what we are doing right now is romantic." Tatsumi said bluntly and cocked his head when practically steam left Lubbock's burning face.

"That's why I said 'almost', dumbass!" He yelled and turned away from Tatsumi. The brunette raised an eyebrow, a little confused at Lubbock's flustered behavior.

"Hey, Lubba. I have a question."

"What?" Tatsumi grabbed one of Lubbock's hands and held it close against his own. As expected, Lubbock jolted and stared at him with a questioning look.

"You don't remember... but I held your hand like this. While you were in your coma. Since then, every time we slept close I... would hold our hands together." Tatsumi said as the memory of seeing Lubbock again came back to him. He did not know why he suddenly needed to voice that scene, but something told him to.

"It was a silent promise for me to protect you," Tatsumi continued, "It helped me sleep a little better knowing I made a commitment for you. You may think this is... strange, but can I... hold your hand more often? As in when we are awake too?" Coming out of his mouth, it sounded a hell of a lot more creepier than he intended.

"Wh-why...?" Lubbock asked timidly. Without thinking, Tatsumi had laced their fingers together.

"It's a reassuring comfort for me. I'm not trying to make a move on you or anything, I swear!" Tatsumi added very flustered. "It helps knowing you won't leave a-and-" He stopped when Lubbock's fingers squeezed his hand in the hold.

"You're a mess, just stop." Lubbock muttered. "And if it really helps then... I guess it's fine. O-only when needed." He answered.

"Thank you, Lubba." On the inside, Tatsumi was ready to explode. Holding Lubbock's soft hand really did help, but over time it became a habit. Then, he began sensing a double-meaning behind the reason of why he wanted to hold his friend's hand so much. What does his racing heart and burning face say about his wanting to hold his hand?

Tatsumi laid back as well, still keeping their hands attached. His thoughts began to clear. The dark voice in his head diminished. This is why he is able to sleep.

"Tatsumi..."

"Hm?" Tatsumi opened one eye he had unknowingly closed and saw Lubbock scooting closer.

"Since you can hold my hand more... can we... Um..."

"...Wha-?"

"Canwehugmoreoften?" Lubbock rushed embarrassedly as he laid himself right against Tatsumi's side. "I just... it's so freaking sappy... but..."

"Of course." Tatsumi said at once, while wrapping his other arm around Lubbock's torso.

"I-I didn't mean right now!" Lubbock countered immediately, but made no move to depreciate the action.

"Well... it's raining and it cold." Tatsumi logically said, ignoring his heart's desire to retaliate what he said. "I don't feel like drenching our blankets. One hour?"

Lubbock sighed heavily.

"One hour. Then we're leaving."

"Yes sir." With that, Tatsumi closed his eyes and gave up trying to hide his bright smile, not aware of Lubbock doing the same.