Trust in Hope

Hell

7 AM - I woke up to the sound of my mom crying, it has been like this for the past week and my heart is being teared apart.
I cover my ears with my pillow because there are shivers running down my spine. I slowly flutter my eyes open, adjusting to the sunlight shining through the window.

Ugh I hate mornings so much.

My hands reach for my phone and I check for texts from my friends but there aren't any. I sigh and tiredly get out of bed, dragging myself to the bathroom to get ready for school.

After a quick shower, I wrap my towel around my body to keep myself from shivering but failed badly. It's been snowing for a week and it's getting worse day by day. I pick out my favourite sweater and pants to wear. Who wants to dress up early in the morning? And besides I'm not a morning person.

I do my hair and make my way downstairs as my mom's sniffing gets louder.
I want to get out of this place so badly but this is where I belong. I have nowhere else to go.

There she is lying on the couch with a blanket.

''Mom, why are you laying on the couch?'' I ask. She didn't reply...

I shrug and make my way back to the kitchen.
I get some milk to drink and put on my jacket and shoes in a rush.
Got up too late again, as usual. I quickly walk out of the house so I don't miss the bus and still hear my mom crying. She doesn't deserve this. I can't see tears in her eyes, it breaks my heart.

Running my way to the bus station, I see it drive past me. Looking at my phone I see I still have one minute left to catch it. I run as fast as I can but there's snow so I trip and hurt my knee. I'm trying to get up as I'm looking in the direction of where my bus is driving. It stops and waits for people to get in. My knee hurts so badly so it takes me a few seconds to get back up on my feet. I'm limping my way to the bus even though I only have about 10 seconds left. While stressing out I see it driving away because everyone got in... except for me.

Nobody saw me again, this always happens. I get up too late, shower too long and miss my bus because this damn weather slows me down a lot.

Without thinking i burst into tears.. ''I hate my life!!'' I yelled, but no one could hear me.

So after waiting for about 30 minutes in -7 degrees, another bus arrived and now I'm on my way to school. My day has already started off bad! I don't know how the rest of it will go. I'm 99% sure of getting detention.

55 minutes have passed as I walk into my classroom. I have chemistry; yeah that's definitely my favourite subject, ugh...

''Where do you come from so late?'' my teacher asked.

''Oh sorry I missed my first bus'' I said while taking a seat next to one of my classmates.

''You should've made sure you didn't miss it then, Julia'' she said while rolling her eyes.

I sighed.

---

Chemistry, English and Art class went by quickly and it was now lunch time. Limping my way to my locker I come across my old friend, Victoria. I decide to smile at her because I miss her, but she doesn't smile back at me. It hurt. I opened my locker after trying two times, got my books and food and made my way towards the cafeteria.

I hope I get to sit with my friends today..

As I walk over to them and about to sit on the last chair that was left at the table, one of my friends' friend comes over to me and takes the seat where I am supposed to sit.

''Um okay..'' I mumble.

I throw my bag on the floor and look for a stool in the hallway. As I find one I walked back to the table and felt multiply people staring at me so I immediately check my appearance.

Is there something on my face? Does my hair look messed up? Are my pants torn? Gosh stop these thoughts Julia.. I decide to ignore the stares and take a seat on the stool, start eating my lunch and check my phone.

Still no texts.. Hmm yeah who would even want to talk to me anyways?

My friends don't say a word to me and keep making fun of people with each other. They even make fun of me too a few times but I ignore it. It hurts though, the way they make fun of my hair, face and body.

After a while all the gossip annoys me so much that I pack my half eaten lunch and walk away from there into an empty classroom. I start over thinking again.. about home, about the bad things my friends ever said to me, my mom blaming me for her and her boyfriend's break up. I feel worthless and burst into tears again as I take a bite of my sandwich.

I don't know man... I feel so worthless. What did I do to deserve this? I've done nothing wrong to anyone and yet they are treating me like this.