The Hole Where My Heart Used To Be.

Just say you'll stay.

--David's P.O.V.--

I opened my eyes slowly as the sound of the tv softly hummed in the background. I was facing the opposite side that I had fallen asleep facing but I could feel Kyle's presence in the room. It was heavy and warm, but it made me sad because I felt that if I moved or flinched just a little we would find ourselves in another shouting match and I didn't want to fight anymore.

I kept my gaze on the soft blue colored wall as I kept my breathing slow, "Why'd you stay?" I asked quietly, staying put. He was silent and in his silence I found myself with regret for ever speaking. "Because I love you." He said softly and right at that moment I knew he was telling the truth, I could actually feel it, I could feel the emotion in his words, the meaning he put into them, I could feel it surround me and I felt at ease.

I was about to say something when my doctor came in and smiled at the both of us, "Alright David, take two on bad days and one on good days." He said professionally as he handed me a semi transparent orange bottle that contained small round blue pills. "Thank you." I said as I took them from him "Do I need to eat or anything like that before or after I take them?" I asked, "Nope, you can take those whenever, just be careful not to take at least more than two at a time." He smiled at me and then took out my IV for me, letting me know that I was being discharged and I could leave once I got ready.

"What did he say was the cause of what happened?" He asked, general concern heavy in his voice, "Just being really stressed." I answered softly, "Oh." His voice grew somber as he looked down at the ground, "I guess we should go then." I stated as I reached behind me and began to untie the knots that held my gown together. When I couldn't untie any of them I let out a frustrated heave.

"I'll get it." Kyle whispered as he turned me around so my back was facing him. His warm hands worked away and untied my gown for me, "Thank you." I said quietly as I shed from the gown and put on my regular clothes.

Kyle walked beside me as we left the hospital, occasionally glancing at me to make sure I wasn't going to fall again. His hand brushed against mine and I attempted to hold it, but before I could he pulled away and hid it in his pocket, putting the other hand in his other pocket as well so he didn't look odd, and in an attempt to play it off I crossed my arms and looked away at the sky.

I sighed and looked to the ground, suddenly I was tired again and I just wanted to hurry up and get back to the bus so that I could go to sleep for a while longer, "I forgot, do we have a show tonight?" I asked, looking ahead of me waiting for his answer. "Yeah." He answered as he looked over at me and then back ahead of himself.

------

I let Kyle go ahead of me and then I stepped onto the bus and shut the door behind me. He wandered to the lounge room and shut the door behind him, I sighed and opened it back, "I'm going to take a nap." I spoke softly, "Okay." He said giving me a look of understanding. I shut the door back and kicked off my shoes, crawling into my bunk. I took one of the small blue pills, put my headphones back in, and fell asleep.

--Kyle's P.O.V.--

I sunk into the couch and flipped through the channels, I couldn't find anything I liked so I just turned on some music, I cracked one of the windows opened and lit a desperately needed cigarette.

I inhaled and exhaled slowly as I relaxed more into the side of the couch, leaning my head on the window.

I sat there, smoking, trying to figure out my emotions that were jumbled up in my mind and in my heart. I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to hold his hand, I wanted to laugh with him again, I just wanted to fix everything and be alright again, but I knew it wasn't going to happen just like that. This kind of healing needed time, a lot of time. Especially on my part, every time he looks at me I feel stupid and a little shitty, and I can't help but let my mind waste time on his one night stand, and every time I would think about it my heart would get heavier and heavier in my chest until eventually it felt as though someone had lifted a heavy rock and pushed it into my chest to replace my heart.