Girl Almighty

Part 2

"No one is hurting me" she said. Before anyone could object, she clarified. "It's from the needles in my veins"

Everyone sat still, mouths hanging open. "At the hospital" she finished.

"Are you sick?" Harry asked, reaching for Liz's hand. Liz took a shaky breath and tried to explain.

"Every three weeks I have to have an IV treatment, and my veins are starting to collapse and scar. They have to keep trying new places on my arm. That is why I get the ugly bruises"

Louis sat back and giggled with relief. "For a minute I thought our Liz had turned into a mainlining drug user." Niall smiled with relief, but Harry and Liam did not look away from her arm.

"Why?" Liam asked quietly. Liz had been looking down at her arm, but Liam put his hand under her chin and raised it until she was looking directly in his eyes. "Why are you in the hospital every 3 weeks"

Liz knew this was the point of no return. This would change the way they looked at her forever. Would they see her as fragile? Would they still think of her as a woman? She couldn't bear the idea of them thinking of her differently.

"Cancer." Liz didn't hear the words leave her lips, but she watched in horror as their faces registered what she had said. Niall's features turned red and he practically jumped out of his seat, leaving the room. Louis seemed to stop breathing, his whole body suddenly still. Harry dropped his head into his hands, so all she could see was his long curly hair. Liam dropped his hand from her chin and shook his head back and forth.

Control this! Liz thought.

"You guys, I am okay!" she insisted, standing up. "I am through the worst of it, now it's just a little insurance"

Be Feisty! She thought. "Helloooo...? Do you think cancer could beat me? I kicked cancer's ass!" she announced in her best rapper p ose. By now everyone was smiling, if not laughing. Everyone sat down again and Liz decided to tackle the awkwardness head on.

"Okay, questions....?" Lowering her bravado, Liz tried again. "You guys, it's still me. And I know its like the most terrifying anyone can say, but this is your chance to ask me anything... without me hitting you"

Louis was the first to meet her gaze, and she mentally implored him to help break the silence.

"What...." he faltered.

"What kind?" Liz asked. He nodded. "Breast cancer."

  "A right mastectomy and removal of lymph 9 nodes. 8 rounds of chemo over the course of 5 months, 1 month in hospital and 25 rounds or radiation"  

Liz took a deep breath and took off her sweater, leaving her in a green t-shirt. The neck opening revealed an ugly thick scar halfway between her collarbone and the top of her breast. There were small scars on her neck, and her arms looked painful. And it was very clear she only had one breast.

"Welcome to the wonderful world of breast cancer" she said quietly.

"Does it hurt?" Liam asked, staring at the purple blobs on her arms.

"Sometimes" she answered truthfully. "Now that all the I just have the IVs, most of the pain is just the the needles. And feeling coming back to where they did surgery." Harry let go of her hand and got up from the couch, walking towards the kitchen.

Niall raised his fingers toward the scar on the left side of her upper chest. A thick ugly scar about 2 cm long, Liz knew it looked the worst. The flesh had been scooped out behind it, so not only was it ugly in appearance but it felt awful to the touch too. Liztook his fingers and placed them on her scar.

"That was my first surgery" she assured him, " but its the ugliest. " Niall gently traced the scar with his calloused fingers. "Chemo is really toxic and can rot your veins" Liz explained, " so they put an access sight just under your skin with a tube that goes right into your main vein near your heart"She traced the path with her finger.

"Is it still there?" Niall asked.

Liz shook her head. "No. Somehow it became infected, so they had to remove it halfway though my chemo schedule"

Niall dropped his hand, but kept staring.

Louis frowned and brushed his fingers over the scars on her neck. Liz smiled. "That was Plan B. " Raising her left arm, she pointed to a small scar at the top of the inside of her arm. "They use the same vein but access it from your arm. It goes in there" she said, pointing to the scar "And run it to your neck.Then around a loop and down into the vein by your heart."

Harry quietly returned to the living room wiping his eyes and pulled Liz up into a hug.

"Is this okay?" he asked quietly.

Liz started to cry and laugh at the same time. " Yeah. Just not too tight."