Heartbeat [spn]

Part 15(Finale)

You stood outside the house, breathing in the fresh air. Feeling the air on your skin. Feeling free at last. No more reason to hide, no more reason to be scared. You could stand here and soak it in, really enjoy it again. You didn't even realize until just now how much you missed this, how you had taken it for granted before. How important it was to do, how wonderful it felt.

It was so calming, so peaceful, so perfect. Peter was gone, you were free of him and his minions. You no longer had to watch over your shoulder in fear. The hex bags in your pockets could be gone forever. You could forget all about witches and spells. About hunting and other things. But could you forget about Sam? About Dean?

"Y/N?" Sam asked. He walked up to you slowly, hands in his pockets, eyes cast down at you nervous and cautious to approach you. "Y/N, lets go back to the hotel." His hand reached out, fingers searching for you. But you pulled away slightly, just out of his grasp. He noticed and you could have sworn you saw him flinch.

"I can't." You finally opened your eyes, looking over at Sam's sad face.

He cocked his head to the side. "Why not?" He asked, shoving his hands back into his pockets.

"Because I can't." You sighed, "I have to go. You have to go. You and Dean. This is your life, this is what you do. This isn't what I do. I get in the way, I" You turned away, looking away from Sam, "I complicate things. You don't need any more compilations."

"Y/N that's not-"

"It is." You interrupted him. Turning back and looking back over at Sam. His face twisted in confusion. You sighed. "Look at what happened during this case for you. You were so upset you wouldn't even look at me. Even Dean said you were out of it. You can't have that. You can't get hurt." You were so amazed at your strength, at the way you held yourself together even with Sam looking as sad as he was. Dean had joined too, hearing the tail end of your little speech.

"I wont get hurt." Sam said, hands once more reaching for you. Again you moved from his grasp, taking a few steps back.

"You will. But its okay. I'm okay Sam. And you have to keep doing this good. Keep the world safe. You both do." You gestured to Dean too and for the first time Sam realized he was even there. "I can't get in the way of that. I'll just make things... complicated."

Dean cleared his throat. He stepped forward, patting his brother's shoulder as he made his way past him. "Do you know what you're going to do?" He asked, and unlike Sam you didn't move away from him.

You shrugged, "No. But its okay. I can start over. I've done it before."

Sam shook his head. Unable to process what everyone was saying. Sam didn't want you to leave, he wanted you close to him at all times. He needed you. You were the best thing that happened to him recently. "Y/N..." Sam pleaded.

"No. Please. This is already really hard. I just- you don't need me. Neither of you do." Neither said anything, neither could. You were right and Dean knew it. You could see it in his eyes. Sam though, he didn't want to let you go.

You all stood in silence, both brothers staring at you, watching you. Both having different reactions. Both waiting for something more. You sighed, unable to keep looking at them. You walked down the path towards the car. Sam and Dean lingered at the door.

You threw yourself into the back seat, slamming the door behind you. Dean sighed and pat his brother a few more times on the shoulder before walking towards his car. Sam followed, slowly. Not ready to say goodbye just yet.

You stood next to the car, the car Sam had hot-wired for you. It was older, something you wouldn't have picked out in the lot while car shopping, but you weren't being picky now. Your bags were already in the back seat. Everything was ready. All that you were waiting on was you. And all you had to do was get in the front seat and drive.