Heartbeat [spn]

Part 13

You were awake more, and Dean had trusted that you could go back into your own room, but instructed that you still take it easy. Which you didn't do. You shut and locked your door, and took a shower despite Dean's order to keep it quick. He didn't want your wound opening back up. But you didn't care. Honestly everything Dean was saying to you was fuzzy and hard to take seriously since he kissed you.

You had tried to write it off like it didn't mean anything, tried to ignore that he had done it at all. Which is what he was doing. Or at least you told yourself that. He had been paying more attention to you, but you convinced yourself that was because you were hurt. Because you needed to be taken care of and made sure you were alive.

Sam came around every now and then, but he never fully looked at you. He never talked to you, or made you feel like he wanted you around. Which made you all the more grateful for your room back.

You used your shower time to really reflect on everything. Peter was out, but now he's dead. Because Sam shot him. But the bullet went through Peter and into your side deep enough to cause sever damage. And then, while you were healing, Dean kissed you. Dean kissed you. Dean. Kissed. You.

You couldn't get over it. Couldn't scrub it from your brain no matter how hard you tried. You ran your fingers over your lips, as if you could still feel Dean's touch there. It hadn't been too long since it happened, long enough to still feel the tingle in your legs from it. A knocking on the door brought your attention back to reality. "Uh- yeah?"

"I brought food." It was Sam's voice coming though the cracks. Sam's sad and disgruntled voice echoing into the room. Sam who was just outside of the tiny bathroom you were in. You quickly turned off the shower and wrapped your towel around you.

"Sam?" You opened the door quickly. Hair still dripping wet. You stood in your spot, water pooling under you, holding the towel close to your chest as if that made you less exposed. But this was the most revealed you felt in a long time.

Sam took a step back and cleared his throat. "I uh- I set it down over there on the table." He pointed to the takeout box on the table. "I just- just wanted to tell you it was here." Sam struggled to keep his eyes off of you, tried hard to keep looking away.

"Thanks..." You were speechless. You had rehearsed this long thing you wanted to tell him and now? Now you felt your throat clogging with nerves. Sam turned to leave without a word. "Sam wait."

He did, turning slowly back to face you. Again your throat seemed to clog up. "I just wanted to say I don't blame you. It was an accident. I'm going to be okay." Sam nodded in acceptance and left the room, shutting the door behind himself.

It was then that you realized how in the way you were becoming during this case. Sam had lost himself, risked losing everyone including himself because you were hurt. Dean's words rang through your head and you silently cursed him for it. Kicking at nothing in front of you.

You got dressed quickly but ignored the food in your room and barged into theirs. "So what's next?" You asked, standing the door way. Both brothers were making more bullets and looked up startled to see you.

You held your ground, standing in the door way with your eyebrow raised, you were about to repeat your question when Dean pushed out of the chair and stood, "Y/N, I am pretty sure I told you to take it easy."

"Yeah, but that was before I remembered there is still a coven of witches after me, and probably you both as well." You entered the room now, arms crossed over your chest. You sat on Dean's bed, feeling the springs gave way to you when you did.

Sam shook his head and continued making bullets."Yeah. And they are growing in numbers. But we have a plan." Sam said again not looking up at you. He had an excuse now to keep from looking at you. But you still wanted him to pay attention to you, you still needed him to look at you without the pain his eyes.