Pain

Chapter 4 - Hidden Lies

Chapter 4

Hidden Lies

After three days with high tension and no sign that Jamie or Karlo would return, tension turned to worry. Mel had tried to reason with Jamie that actually finding Karlo would have been a difficult task with all of us looking, let alone just one person. All I knew was that there was a very real chance that they were both dead.

Jimmy was the first one to actually kick up about it. Like Karlo's change in behaviour, Jimmy's was subtle to others but stood out like a beacon to me. All it took for him to talk about it was for the both of us to be sitting around the fire-pit together and it all came out. Nobody else had even gotten out of bed yet.

"I should have gone with Jamie," he admitted, looking gaunt.

I sighed, realising that if all of us had of left when Jamie did then we'd probably all have regrouped and be back here by now. Sending him off alone was just as stupid as walking into a group of soldiers. He didn't stand a chance.

"We all should have gone," I agreed. "I think he just caught everyone off guard."

"You tried to go with him, didn't you?" he asked.

"Yeah, I did," I told him. "He said it wasn't safe for me to go with him. That I'd be safer here with the rest of you."

"He's always cared about you, you know," he said. "I used to tease him about it. Me and Karlo did. And now there's only me."

My body shivered.

"They're not dead," I argued. "I refuse to believe that."

"Face it Esther," he said. "If Jamie hadn't found Karlo by now he'd be back here trying to rally all of us into another trip to find him. He's not here and neither is Karlo. Something's happened."

It had occurred to me that Jamie hadn't taken a lot of stuff with him, meaning he would have needed to come back by now to replenish his food supplies. Deep down, I knew Jimmy was right. I just didn't want to believe it.

"If they'd died we would have heard gunshots or something," I fought.

"There are more ways to go than just by a gun, Esther," Jimmy said.

No matter how much logic he applied to the situation, I still refused to believe his words. In my mind, Jamie would be back with Karlo any minute and we'd all have a laugh and get on with our so-called mission. Somehow, I think Jimmy might have believed that too and he was trying to convince himself otherwise. What he said next made me realise this whole conversation was intended to talk himself out of what he'd been planning on doing since Jamie had left.

"I'm going to go and find them," he decided, getting to his feet.

"Jimmy, no" I argued. "We've already lost two people, we don't need to lose anymore."

"But what if we haven't Esther?" he fought, resuming my role as the arguer in the whole conversation. "What if they're only metres away from us and they just need someone to help them? I need to go, I owe them that much."

"At least let me come with you," I said, my eyes pleading.

"No," he fought. "If I owe one thing to Jamie, it's keeping you safe. I can't do that on my own. You need to stay here with the others."

He began to walk towards his tent, just as intent on leaving as Jamie was. I had to respect that he didn't want me to go with him, but on the slight chance that I could see Jamie again, I didn't want to let him go. I grabbed hold of his arm as he walked past me.