Jihoon yawns as he reclines in his chair. He's been up since the early hours of the morning, working on the various projects that he has yet to finish in his studio. He's come to a realization that this has become routine for him now. If asked, he would say that it doesn't bother him. It's like second nature, so he doesn't really mind when his brain automatically wakes him up at 4 in the morning, ready to start yet another day of working through demos and composing their next album. He doesn't mind, this is what an idols life is like anyway. He signed up for this so no, he doesn't mind. Sometimes though, sometimes he really wishes that he could just go back to pre-dubt days, days where there wasn't so much pressure on him, when everything seemed a tad bit more simple, days where he could seek out the comfort of the one person who he could really feel at ease with. It's not that he doesn't feel comfortable with Seungcheol anymore, no, that's not the case, but they're just busy.
He hates to think about it, but when there's nothing else but to think he realizes that in some way they're drifting. Jihoon's got such a busy schedule that they hardly see each other anymore. He supposes It's normal though. They're idols now and there are certain things that are demanded of idols. Time being of the essence. Today or rather these past few weeks have been quite the prime example. This morning for instance, Jihoon woke up to an empty bed. No Seungcheol in sight, just like the previous weeks. It can't be helped, Jihoon supposes. He's the leader of the group and the leader has his own agenda to worry about. But Jihoon can't tell you how many times he's just wanted to stop what he's doing and seek for the embrace of his lover, soul mate, his one and only, his Seungcheol.
Jihoon chuckles at that thought. Seungcheol isn't his anymore, not really. Seungcheol belongs to his fans, the company, not just Jihoon anymore. The idol life is really not as glamorous as he thought, but he still loves it non the less.
Jihoon sighs as he rubs his eyes in an attempt to stay awake. He can't be thinking about such things, not when he has work to do, so he pushes those thoughts away, thoughts that he knows will come back and cause him even more pain, but he pushes them away and he works.
Jihoon spends hours in that studio. He's forgotten what time it is, but he doesn't bother to check. He just keeps working. He hears as his phone goes off, signaling a new message but he's got no time to be social right now. He's got work to do. A few minutes pass by and he hears a knock on the door.
"Not now," says Jihoon as his eyes stayed glued to the computer screen. A few seconds go by and he hears another knock.
"I said not now," he repeats, but this time the door opens without his permission and he gets irritated.
"What?!"he says as he spins his chair around.
Seungcheol walks through the door. "No need to snap, Jihoonie. You didn't answer my messages." Seungcheol is dressed in formal attire and he looks very handsome, he probably just came back from a meeting with their managers. As always, he works as much as Jihoon does.
Jihoon stops admiring him turns his face away from Seungcheol. He doesn't want to see him right now, not when he might break down. Jihoon feels as if one look into those brown eyes, those eyes that might be a plain color, but to Jihoon they hold the world, they hold so much love, love that unfortunately can't be expressed in the present circumstances, but he digresses. He doesn't want to look at him in fear that he might break down and force Seungcheol into worrying about him. Jihoon doesn't want that. He doesn't want to be a nuisance, not when Seungcheol has so many other things to worry about.
"Well, I'm busy," says Jihoon.
"I know you are, but you should take a break," replies Seungcheol with a warm smile as he stands right in front of Jihoon.
