My middle school years were probably the worst years of my life. Let's start with 6th grade. At this time, I hadn't told anyone that I was gay. I dated girls, and I tried to act as straight as possible. I feared that everyone would judge me, and people wouldn't be my friends anymore. I guess people started assuming that I was gay, simply because of the way I talked. I never have had a crazy feminine voice, but it had somewhat of a feminine effect to it.
I constantly was being asked if I was gay, and I was constantly called "fag". Some days it would be so bad that I would go home crying. I remember telling my parents "I don't understand why everyone hates me". My parents would constantly be at the school. It just seemed that no matter how many times they would complain to the school, nothing would be done. They'd tell me "don't worry about it, words are words". I remember my principle continuously quoting "sticks and stones may break your bones, but words may never hurt you". But, that's was the biggest lie that I've ever been told. Words do hurt. And they hurt a lot.
Towards the end of my 6th grade year, I decided enough was enough. I started fighting back. There was one specific guy, who we're gonna call Zane, he would always say stuff to me. One day, I finally snapped. I remember him coming to the stair well one day, and he just pushed me. I thought to myself, "don't take this crap anymore, you are stronger than this". Well, I guess that was enough for me to punch him in the face.
I remember thinking, I finally fought back, people are gonna stop messing with me. Well, I mistaken.
In the summer right before my 7th grade year, I was at a friends house, we will call him Andrew, I had been wanting to tell him I was gay since elementary school. It was his birthday, and we had went to an amusement park earlier that day. We were laying down for bed and I decided, this is the time to tell him. "Andrew?" I said hesitantly. "Yes Hunter?" He replied worriedly. "There's something I need to tell you". At this moment, my heart was beating so loud, it sounded like drums were playing in my ears. "Okay? What is it?". Once I thought I had enough courage to say it, I say "I'm bi".
I only had partial relief after I told him I was bisexual. Because, it wasn't the truth. But it was in some sort of way. He was 100% accepting of me, and that relieved me. But, I knew what had to come next. Telling my parents.
