This week had been the worst....I've lost two of the people that have their own place in my heart. Now it just feels like an empty void. I can honestly say this has been the worst week ever.
Its actually quite funny because I lost both of these people on the same day...Tuesday...and since then I've gained about 9 new scars. Its not the scars that hurt its the fact that I only have a few people to help me get through this.
My mother says it'll blow over and we'll start talking again but I honestly doubt it. I still have the same views on suicide...I thought I was over these thoughts but...its pretty obvious I'm not.
How could I be with all this bull shit happening. Its like one day I have everyone we're all happy and laughing and then the next everything is gone....I couldn't even focus on school because of stress.
It hurts because I feel like I can't trust anyone even if I know that's not the case..but the purpose of this is to say. No matter how fucked up shit is you still have the people you do.
To help lock yourself in your room and listen to music that will make you happy and get those thoughts out. For me that is Demons by Imagine Dragons, Turn Your Face by Little Mix, Change Your Life by Little Mix and Diana by One Direction.
I highly recommend these songs for the broken and depressed....I have a therapy session Wednesday she told me if I'm still feeling the way I do...where I almost killed myself I'll have to be put on antidepressants.
Stay positive...love life....be happy. that's my motto. Use it. Live by it.
Just remember I love you all
~Crissy
